Wednesday, November 28, 2007 @ 9:35 AM
alright, i told myself that i cant wander off. just blog.
yet i did wandered off just now, what the heck.
wandered off to those blogshops, seriously i 'drooled' at those nicenice stuffs :D
money. -.-
this led me thinking of brande.
i thought of this/these early in the morning.
i have alot of stuff to talk about, so be warned that this post will be very longggg.i feel damn helpless.
i mean i cant help a friend in need. a friend in an emotional trouble.
i cant go out and talk with her. cant go have lunch or dunno what with her.
was rejected by my mother, cannot go out!
she seems to know that i am going to go KBOX with her. i dint say kbox and yet she knew.
...she's my mother afterall.
i feel helpless. everytime in school, she will comfort me when i'm down.
now its her turn to be sad and yet i cant comfort her and listen to her troubles.
i somehow got these feeling that i am quite, useless in the sense of not there with her.
okay, even if i cant go kbox with her,
cant i just go out and talk with her, go walkwalk? i promise i will not spend too much money.
please. i dont want to be such a friend. i want to be a friend who will always be there.
and.
in the morning i also thought of yenling. you ask why.
simple, when i think of brande i will think of yenling, haha.
whenever i think of yenling i will have this strange, yet at the same time miraculous feeling.
at first in the starting of the year, i thought that she was friendly.
very friendly, and still is.
but then i wonder why i started to dislike her.
maybe because she's turned into a pai kia? shw wanted me to go alter skirt and stuffs.
maybe because she started to utter vulgarities?
whywhywhy? suddenly at that time i started to have this 'rejecting feeling' towards her.
then later, brande also quite dislike her?
and everytime she came to school(once in a while) she will stick to brande,
and i will (have to)stick with someone else.
then whatever stuffs happened, the quarrel with brande. she came to talk to me about it and ask me to try to apologise to brande.
and then the patch up. etc, and she said she quit school.
and suddenly the DAMNED FKING QUARREL WITH
hsy. (which still makes me wanna puke whenever i think about it, but i had forgiven huh...)
and then
hsy told me that she is so envious about yenling. because 'she said nothing even if you dao-ed her' ,thats what hsy told.
WHAT THE HELL, WHO'S THE ONE WHO SAID THAT SHE DISLIKES ME IN THE FIRST PLACE! bloody ass.
.
.
.
.
and in the end, yenling came back to visit us, and talked to me and brande in canteen.
and the 'dislike' is gone.
.
.
.
i mean, whats wrong? in the first place why must i start to dislike her?
and then why later must you guys tell me that she doesnt likes me?!
what the bird lah.
now my relationship with her is somehow strained. damn .
but ytd i sent her some friendship msg on friendster, and later in the day she sentme back.
thats what i feel miraculous about.
people around me are sometimes very strange,
or maybe because i am strange in the first place? i have no birdie idea.
.
.
.
i am worried about the camp(s), co camp and the sgpc camp.
which one to go? which one to forsake? or maybe both also dont go?
sgpc camp - 16-19dec, OVERNIGHT.
co camp - 17-19 dec, NOT OVERNIGHT.
helping out children's camp(church) - 10-12dec.
and still ON 19 DEC, my uncle is coming back with his 4-mth old son?
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. i am driven nuts by camps.
although co ,it is compusory. but still i dont feel like staying in a foreign place for 10 hrs!
sgpc, will be quite paiseh if i dont go along?
omgomgomg.
