hi people (if anyone's reading-.-).
i know i am mia-ing, hahas but it isnt without reasons.
hahas after the SYF (and i realised i havent even blogged about that too) where we got silver, we had timed practices everyday. blahs, and some SPAs, etc.

so much has happened, i think i am getting to a blog-noob stage.
yeah, even if i had like surfed my blog a few time recently, dont feel a need to blog anything.
but for today, its just this outbreak of emotions,
yes. and i finally realised that i cry when i am angry.

nope, nothing special happened, just some false accusations and the grounding from my mother,
i mean these are not really some special cases,
afterall they are kinda common in my life.
yeah serious, i wonder how many times i got these 'scoldings' in my life.

its just that, the outbreak of emotions really broke the proper balance of my life.
i thought that after that 'horny incident' in my life had passed,
i had got better. went to church more, the fellowship stuffs where i listened to stuffs when i had the fever followed by the fever week (which i realised that i never even blogged about that as well, and got one week i finished new moon within 3 days i think. its like a dream to me -.-),
i had gone (back-?) to be a better person,
but then there are recent cases which made my mind cuckoo,
and i am now back to 无可救药 stage, where i am sprouting nonsense (which obviously refers to those bombastic vulgarities) and having unforgivable thoughts in my mind.

;(


i think i am going crazy.
what went thru my mind today,
was slashing my arm in front of my parents/family if they dont get a maid for the home asap.

... i am such a bastard right.



hahas now my phone playing 'melee-stand up'.
is the song singing itself to me. i am wondering,


Melee - Stand Up
I got in a fight over some stupid insecurities.
Stepped out of the light.
When did we lose our old identity?

Now my white flags are waving around
'Cause you don't need your best friends bringing you down.
Something in the air with the smoke and the fire
Got in my eyes, our eyes singing,

Stand up, stand up
Can I be strong enough?
I'm trying hard to be myself again
To be myself again.

I've been tripping over all the rules
Living my live somebody else's way.
I've been sinking on this ship of fools,
Following orders that I can't obey.

Now my white flags are waving around
'Cause the choices I've made ran me into the ground.
Someone's at the crash site digging me out.
I hope it's you, I hear you singing to me

Stand up, stand up
Can I be strong enough?
I'm trying hard to be myself again
Stand up, stand up
Brothers be strong enough.
We're trying hard to be ourselves again
To be ourselves again.

When plans go wrong they won't set the sun.
When plans go wrong they won't ruin the day.

Stand up, stand up
I gotta be strong enough.
I'm trying hard to be myself again.
So stand up, stand up.
Brothers be strong enough.
We're trying hard to be ourselves again again.

Stand up, stand up (Stand up, stand up) [x3]
Stand up, stand up, stand up!
Stand up, stand up (Stand up, stand up) [x3]
Stand up, stand up


yes, i am trying hard to be myself again.
that smartass from sec two. that innocent girl in childhood.

Hey there.
Serena, child of God manufactured on 121093 who appreciates music and art. Loves alot of guy superstars, and too many stuffs on her wishlist to share here. Fat. Doesn't have time-management skills. Very into drama marathons.
first. second. my facebook. cabbagecrumbs. FML. mysoju. things we forget. youme&charlie.
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