whatever (:

So why don't we go, somewhere only we know.

2011-12-31T23:08:00.002+08:00

Oh yes, I sprained my ankle. I think I sprained it, being that it's like numb and pain and whatnot for so long, since alighting from the bus at the HSR station... and walking all the way to our accomodation. Nice way to spend the countdown and start 2012.

I think, a new year, no, the beginning of a new year is scary. I think there are just so many uncertainties lying in front of me. I hate changes, I hate new environments. But... I guess faith will lead me to destinations, and the processes and the consequences will forever be lessons for me in life ain't it. I just came back to post once again because of this weird feeling of not being able to let go, and I'm really missing home. But the trip seems to be a short one though...

This year being a sucky one due to my laziness. My anger, my sense of loss. I wont want it to happen again. And the "so many things to do, yet so little time attitude"... would improve on my priotising, and time-management. Oh well, I think the new year resolutions spelt out everything.

I really have this strong feeling of... 莫名其妙 now, I dont know how to explain it in English. I really feel weird, it's like loss + anger + sad + despair. I really dint become useful of do useful things this year huh.

I cant turn my left foot for nuts. Grr. Oh well. Guess I'll just make-do. Happy new year.

This could be the end of everything,

2011-12-31T11:56:00.000+08:00

Hello there! 11 days since I posted here, oh well there have been many things happening. And I'm in Taiwan now. I'm feeling a bit sad that I'm going to end my year here in a foreign place. And thinking that this year is a tad bit wasted. I feel all my remorse for not living it better, but there are still many great things that I'm thankful for. Shall elaborate on my next post. And so many things in Taiwan, I shall elaborate on that later too. It's freaking cold and I miss home ):

Well the main thing that I want to say here is that my new year resolutions for this year is like shit long and I accomplished like maybe 2% of it. ,

Spiritual/Daily life section

Smile more, care for others more, :D plus less criticising
BE HAPPY :D
Have faith in God that everything's gonna be okay
To be a more tolerant person/not easily offended
Forgive (but not necessarily forget, depends)
Do daily devotion, like DAILY.
Bring friend(s) to church. CATHERINE ALERT ALERT!! :D:D
GET BAPTISED WOOHOO

Piano/Academics section

Exercise. MUST PASS NAPFA OMFG. Minus 4kg?
Do homework and hand in on time (other than current holiday assignments :P) Dont be lazy!
Do revision currently, before/after lectures & tutorials. DONT REGRET FOR A LEVELS.
Knowing what to do in the future, shingz.
PIANO PRACTICE EVERYDAY (wah stress ah), either : scales/pieces/sight reading
The rest? Leave it to God. Amen.

BUT, AFTER ATTENDING CHURCH CAMP, hmmm add on under daiy life section:

Prioritise God, pray to Him for whatever that I am going to do,
Let my life reflect a positive attitude towards God.
STOP FACEBOOKING SO OFTEN. I think that nearing SYF I should just close my account until next year, heh heh.

Yeah the bolded ones are the accomplishments of this year. Ahaha, so I would just make a few for next year.

1. God before everything, love Him more, know about Him more.
2. Be happy.
3. Be forgiving.
4. Do my best in everything.

I shall put the spiritual section above as my live goal. Hmmm. Short and sweet.

Dreams & Reality.

2011-12-20T20:49:00.003+08:00

No no no, I dint go for the exhibition. But I want to go, next year I think, period.

I must blog today because I had this freaking weird dream, I think I had three dreams this morning, or what normally people call last night. First dream, I can only remember that I dreamt of Seohyun singing like a diva on a setting that is similar to the TALENT show that is from China, the Chinese version of America's Got Talent. (which I am watching now)

The next dream is the one that is very peculiar. I dreamt that I broke a certain school rule and have to be detained in this light orange-yellow room. However they "found out" from my supposedly "records" that I gambled. I was like so shocked, like I never even gambled and how come it is in my records. So because of my "gambling", I have to go to prison. I'm what the hell? And I was so panicked, I was really wailing and yelling and said I dont want to go to prison and this is totally impossible. Someone said that it's okay, you'll get out soon, or something like it's just prison, it's nothing. I approached an old woman who kind of resembled the one who acted as the person who can sense crime by instinct, the show that is currently airing on Okto at 10pm on Fridays. She's wearing normal clothes, and somehow she belonged to the school. And she said that she'll check for me. And I think I wandered around school and suddenly Lee Seung Gi appeared. And he was my boyfriend. Somehow, I never really looked at his face but I know that it's him and he's my boyfriend. And somehow, I remembered that that day itself, I have a date with him. I thought that I was going to prison, and I'll never see him again, and I initiated a break-up while he's holding this bouquet of roses. And I think he got angry and demanded a reason. Something like a non-violent argument broke out. And I felt so sad, I said in Chinese to him that I really loved him, but I'm going to prison. Then this struck him and he kind of wanted to solve it for me (the strange thing is, he understood Chinese) and somehow rushed off while I followed him. The next thing knew he showed up in this dirt covered truck that was at least 3 metres tall and we're outside the entrance to a carpark. It was a steep long route, it's something like the carpark at AMK hub, I was standing in the middle of the entrance. And he drove in at a sports-car speed past me with his seat beside me, and stopped at the end of the slope, and drove back to me at the same speed. And somehow without any reversing he's back to the position where his seat is beside me, where I'm on the right of the truck. And he asked me to climb up, and he reached out his hand. And somehow, with little effort, I climbed up that 2-metre high wheel and caught his hand. And we drove off.

I cant remember the third dream but my actions kind of surprised people.

This morning/afternoon I wanted to blog, and wanted to experiment whether I can use Facebook (mainly for the games) for half an hour. Naturally I failed. Helped my sister to sms her friend and my mother that she forgot her phone and blah, and I was planning to go off and meet both my mother and sister for jeans-shopping at 10.30am, but you know me, I just took my time and set off at 11 plus haha. Anyway, we ate at Harbourfront Centre/Vivo City, and bought my first pair of jeans at Harbourfront and the second pair at AMK Hub's NTUC. I absolutely love Beard Papa Sweets, the shop with good cream puffs and the yummy fondant. Came back home and went to sleep, woke up and Facebooked, until now when I'm blogging. And I need to eat dinner and it's like 9 already, oh gosh. Guess I'll end here today.

P.S. We worked out the SUTD essay, and was quite eager to apply until I saw that they required my prelim results. Instantly I gave up, and my mother persuaded me to go on, and I actually went to tell her that I can go back and repeat in YJC, and explained the whole concept to her. But she told me that some people discriminate against repeat students, and gave her example on her studies in Malaysia and people in Singapore do not understand the system, it's like she would first take her O levels equivalent in her second year in high school, and then her A levels equivalent in year three, but her certificate states that she graduated in her year two. The interviewers dint understand and kept asking her questions, so the interview failed. And I was feeling devastated, but before I went to sleep I thought that maybe I dint want to apply because, if I really succeeded, I have to compete with other creative people, and putting my inspiration to competition is just, not healthy for me. Now I dont really know whether I should give it a try or not.

And the tagboard, sigh. Just take it away, I guess?

P.P.S Kim Jong Il died yesterday, but world safety level is unstable huh. Funny comments on Yahoo News Singapore. SMRT issues are neverending. Thank God I reached Harbourfront safely via MRT today.

Finding neverland.

2011-12-19T21:16:00.001+08:00

I just watched the movie and, I can say that it's quite okay. It's a bit touching at the end, where everyone finds their Neverland, the land of dreams, hopes, and happiness and peace. It follows or rather is inspired by true events experienced by the author of Peter Pan himself, J.M Barrie.

Yesterday was a long day I guess. There's the general meeting of the church (tangyihui) where the participants are like official church members, those who are baptised in SGPC or came here from other church with a ceremony together with those who are baptising. It's really long because it's the voting for the elders and some of the zhishis. The counting of the votes itself takes about, roughly 15 min? And after that went home for a while and rested before we went to Esplanade to listen to Liu DeHai, the master of pipa. I must say, I think among the songs, the first, as wel as the classics are the best. The rest are just monotonous, mere show-offs of the skills required to play some awful parts. And it seems that the encore sounded better, but we went off the moment it ended.

Today I was supposed to go to class outing, but I'm just plain lazy. So I told them the truth that I'm just not feeling at my best to step out of the door, and really, my stomach feels a bit funny. And I'm supposed to practise piano but I dint, heh. But I guess I learnt alot of stuff today. This morning, I spent my time writing my daily devotions for the past days that I have not penned down, and I realised that revision makes better absorption. (:

I guess I have to work on my application to SUTD now ):

2011-12-17T23:30:00.001+08:00

Anyway I changed the video from The Band Perry's If I Die Young to Beast/B2ST's Fiction. i ffell in love with the song ever since MAMA 2011. It's addictive, it's haunting, it's so beautiful. The embed was a bit tricky with the new Youtube layout and stuff, but I'm smart haha. Gotcha.

Taiwan.

2011-12-17T23:21:00.001+08:00

Okay, I dont hate this place. No reason for that. I love the food the fashion the scenery the warmth of the people there. But, to go to a place for a holiday for like the THIRD TIME. This is so not going to work out.

Ever heard of the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt"?
Sigh. I really, REALLY dread going there, and spend my 8 days there. Okay, if the third time it's not an issue. But everytime we spent so many days there? They may not feel sian but I'm freaking sian.

Now on Channel U it's showing You're Beautiful. Watched it before Prelims, I think maybe during the July-August period. Jang Keun Suk, Lee Hong Ki, and Jung Yong Hwa are my absolute loves! It's a damn nice drama, I love the plot, the OST, just everything!! And for that, I'm now a very big fan of JKS and bought L-folders of LHK and JYH. Ahhh~

Anyway I watched 'One Day' starring Anne Hathaway, and I feel that it's so awesome that I want to read the novel, like The Notebook. But I just dont understand why they rated it as a B-minus movie , as said on Wikipedia. And after watching the movie, I just cant get it off my mind. Worst, I think the dreamy feeling intensified because of it. Described the feeling on Facebook. And still dont seem right.

Is it me having hallucinations? Or is it normal for people to have this dreamy feeling? It feels like you need to get to some beautiful place to relax and watch the crowds, the buildings, the sky. It's this warm fuzzy feeling that resembles the aftermath of staring at nice pictures (with the photoshop effect) on deviantart. I don't know what this feeling is. I'm definitely not in love LOL. If anyone understands.

It might also consist of what I added this morning :

I've got the sudden urge to explore the cultures of Korea, Japan, and the European countries, especially France and Germany.

But that dreamy feeling kinda died down because of the trip.

Oh. I need to practise my piano. Two reasons: One. My chuandao asked me to help out at the children's service as a pianist every last week of the month starting next year. And somehow I agreed... ZZZ, I really and maybe should learn how to reject people. Two. It's decided that my piano lessons start officially on 8 January, Saturday afternoons. Oh goodness gracious. I wanna die. One week to catch up with piano and I need to go off for a "holiday".

And with days of procrastination, I'm still left with my pile of Chem notes. But the good thing is that my SGC draft 4 is done... I guess. Today evening lol, it was actually due yesterday. Hmmmm.

These few days, I've been thinking that maybe I should just shut down my Facebook account for a while so that I can do things that might be more meaningful than playing games all day. I can feel my brain degenerating by the minute... ):

Something happened to my cousin's family. My yizhang, his mother died. And she wasnt a Christian, and my yizhang is the only Christian in the family. According to my cousin, he looks tired, but must be hurting so deep inside. It really makes me wonder if I would one day feel the same, where my friends who are non-Christians die, and we know where they're going after death. And I might die inside thinking that it's my fault for not bringing them to church, to know God and become brothers and sisters in God. So maybe this might be a good motivation for me to start pushing on and striving to pass the gospel to everyone who needs it. Maybe I need it too. I mean, yes I am a Christian. But surely a Christian needs a constant reminder that God is there for us no matter which part of our lives we are in. Jesus died for us, showing His love for us, people who are sinners. God is love. We all know, but I think for me I should continue to remind myself for this. Because I tend to get self-centred and not living by God's will and asking Him for knowledge/wisdom whenever I'm in need.

My cousin seems very emo, and I found out her blog because she linked her blog with her Facebook. I feel sad for her considering that last last week she spent quite a few days at our house playing and slacking and now this. May God bless her family.

Now I remembered. The reason for my being so emo about the trip, especially now is that my mother started packing today, lol right after my visit from the doctor for medicine for my excess phlegm and throat-itchiness. It's like, hello, one week before the thing! But I can understand, because she might feel tired after work next week and there are like church choir practices and the church service on 24 dec and we're flying off on 25 dec right after lunch which is right after service. Hmmm. Sigh. I dont know what to say. But I'm most probably not going to perform for the choir on 24 dec, noticing that my voice is like the drilling at the construction sites when I'm singing in choir for yesterday's practice. Gosh... But I can make it for lunch with Mabel and Pei En!! Oh yeah~ Maybe somehow I can pull them to join me for the service hohoho.

Oh well that's for today... I want to be a better person and all. Striving to do my best instead of rotting in front of the computer. But anyways, I wanna watch movies starring Anne Hathaway (Get Smart, Becoming Jane), Rachel McAdams, Ryan Gosling, and read all of Nicholas Sparks' books. I think I'm more into romantic activity now huh. That dreamy feeling. Hmmm. Bye.

Choices.

2011-12-14T19:01:00.001+08:00

So my mum just said to me about SUTD, even though the chances are not high but it's still a chance. And maybe, just maybe I can get in. And it has courses that I want. So I really hope so.

Choices. Grrr.
http://www.blogskins.com/info/357422/
http://www.blogskins.com/info/359304/
http://www.blogskins.com/info/353868/
http://www.blogskins.com/info/339346/
http://www.blogskins.com/info/331972/

They're all simple and elegant. And classy too hehe. Okay I think I'm gonna get my cbox back, maybe for suggestions. If anyone is really reading my blog LOL. Ciao.

It will rain.

2011-12-14T18:35:00.000+08:00

Hey yo! I havent cleared my desk yet boohoo, but I'm gonna do it anyway later.
Then the bulk of today was spent on Facebook (again) and found out certain interesting stuff. For example the website youmeandcharlie.com was so cool, it's just pure inspiration and pure art. To me it feels something like Chicken Soup for the Soul. Cool things in store there.

Then there's going to be a real-life drama for 'Skip! Beat'!! Starring SUJU's Siwon and Donghae. Isnt that cool!! I fell in love with Siwon after watching 'Oh! My Lady'.

Then... I received the SGC draft from Mrs Lay Naing for my application to SUTD... Hmmm, I think it's quite complete, because I dont know if there're really anything else to add in! ):

Suddenly I feel that I still have too many things not written here. About my life, basically and mostly on what I did and love.

Oh oh oh, I suddenly remembered. I dunno which blogskin to put on eventually, grrr. But I really love the current one. And should I put back the tagboard? Seems that most blogskins have a space for that. And I dont know how to lock it anyway to keep the ads away.

I'm hesitating whether I should watch Glee online. Which is without subtitles. Seems that the last time when I opened the first episode for Season 3 I cannot stand for 5 minutes straight. Or even 3 min, sigh. And when I searched for subbed episodes, they only come with the subtitles, literally. Oh good heavens. So maybe it's really my bad and I should accustom myself to this or I should just wait for Channel 5 to air it.

Now I'm deleting my Tagged and Friendster accounts. They're dead for eons. Maybe I should do so for my Lycos mail, Yahoo, and also my LiveJournal. Hmmm.

AKB48.

2011-12-13T16:22:00.001+08:00

Is a freaking huge band. I think they have 50 plus members and 30 plus trainees. I know this band because of Atsuko Maeda, the lead in the drama Q10, which is kind of a spinoff from the movie Cyborg She, starring Ayase Haruka. But the girls in this band are damn cute seriously. And after viewing their videos, I actually think that Girls' Generation is also okay afterall. LOL I dont know how to differentiate good singing skills in the Japanese bands. But hearing AKB48 and feeling that it's okay, this should also mean that SNSD is okay too. Not that I've disliked SNSD, I just liked the people but not really that into their songs. So this calls for a happy ending (:

Sigh okay, after a while (maybe gonna watch a movie) I really need to tidy my desk and do my daily devotion! Sayonara~

Long time no see! (:

2011-12-13T11:38:00.000+08:00

Hey what happened to you Blogger! It's been 4 months plus and your layout changed. Together with Youtube, and MSN, Facebook, and Twitter (even though I still haven't signed up for it, LOL Facebook is my tweeting page haha), etc. So much has changed, and I just read a few of my previous posts and low and behold, they dont sound posted by me!

I came here first thing in the morning rather than to Facebook, is because, there's just so much things that I must tell, so many things that happened that I have to sort out and clear my mind for once. Not that I cleared this time, the clouds would not come back again. I dont really know how to categorise events, hmmm. Let's try this: Studies/A-levels, Facebook/People in my life, Youtube, Activities/Things that I am interested in/want to do, What Am I thinking now, etc.

Okay. Studies/A-levels.
Wasnt ideal. We know that in the first anyway, seeing my progress at work this year. Many obstacles, which the biggest obstacle is myself, stopped me from wanting, no, from actually doing what I dreamt of. Of getting straight As for A levels. I want to laugh at myself for this. Really, I think I deserved whatever grades I am going to get back next year. During A levels, Chem felt a bit screwed, with many types of careless mistakes. And not being able to study finish what Miss Ong especially done for us. For me. All the answers for papers and the Ten Year Series. Good heavens, I haven't even finish my TYS in the first place. Comparing this me to the me in Secondary School, I think I'm just a total bloody jerk. General Paper was cool, finished on time kinda felt like I crammed quite a lot of content with certain level of evaluation. Math was like DIFFICULT. DIFFICULT LIKE SHIT. A lot of blanks? I dunno. I dont dare to check my answers online. They posted the answers online on the day of the paper itself, hours later. And everyone went to "Like" "Joss Sticks" on Facebook, the page for the answers. And a seemingly good tuition centre. Econs case study was okay, I actually felt smart for the first time, but dint finish a 10 mark question and left a 2 mark question blank. But for essay it's totally HELL. I only finished a 25m and a 10m15m question. And the other question on MC and Oligopoly (10m), I finished until the part where I only drew the kinked-dd curve but not explaining it, and for the 15m part on how recession will affect the market and what not, I only wrote a para on elasticity and THAT'S IT. Geog, human geog seemed screwed. I DUNNO, I havent studied human geog carefully.
So. It seems that my A levels are screwed. And I might go back YJC. Which now at this point in time, I do not reject the idea. Because, up til now I still dont know what I want (shall elaborate later). And Agnes said on Facebook that we should dress up nicely when we receive our results next year. But this gut feeling of not doing well is dwelling and swelling within me. And I feel that I should just wear home clothes so that once I got my results, I can just rush back home and emo, or even. Cry.

Facebook/People In My Life.
Okay, Facebook seems like usual. But there are invitations to class gatherings or CO outing. I said yes to 19 Dec 3/4 Grace outing, but I dont know whether I should go. And this feels the same for a possible CO outing. It's like. I'm the only YJC-ian there, who totally slacked this year and might not join them in the university pool of people next year, and I feel so not accomplished. At all. If I really went, I'll just feel so small. And there are like, people having internships and what not, but I dont know whether we have it in YJ, but, I just feel so so left out. Out of a sudden. Like I cannot make any connections. Like I dint do much to make myself someone that I can see at eye-level.

Suddenly I just feel inadequate. ):
And yeah people went for prom but many of us in class dint. Because our clique dint go. But when I looked at the pictures, it's like part of me is missing. I dont know, I think it's quite insignificant, but just that maybe I missed out something important in life? This is contradicting isn't it.

Oh yeah, people in my life. Ordered things from Taobao via Junhua haha, talked to Brande this two days (long time no chat huh), CK remains a good friend haha, and not much from people in my clique. I did an amazing sketch (yes I'm damn proud of myself for this) and Huiling is one of the 12 people that likes it too heehee. I think I shall sketch today as well. After I cleared my messy desk filled with notes and other crap.

I havent heard from other people in my clique and class ever since Graduation Day, which was boooooring with the Principal's cryptic talk. But fun-filled with Ms Tan's faces-making during that talk, and I was studying Chem at that time LOL. The clique went out to eat at Dhoby Ghaut and later on neoprints (first time failed cause machine spoiled LOL so the second time was free but not that nice, slow me designing), arcade (I did the DDR with XH, chose the super slow one accidentally, but unknowingly, and I did PARA PARA looking like I was directing traffic/swimming HAHA), and later me JH and XH went Bugis for JH to find her specific dress but it was sold out, and then we went shopping and I remembered that I bought a staggering 7 headbands at one go LOL. Then later on we went to find my sister and ate crepe and tried to wait for her to go home together but later on we just went back first. It was a fun-filled and tiring day. (:

I dont know whether I should start deleting people I dont know/never really talked to on Facebook.
And Xinrong... I think I said something offensive (but I dont know what) on the PM on Facebook, and we havent talked ever since. Sigh.

As for people at church, I'm talking more to them hehe. But Samuel seems like.... I dont know. But anyway I'm going for the church meeting for the first time this coming Sunday! So cool. Even though I skipped the last time one on the church reform due to needs of studying (an obvious excuse).

My family. We watched Already Famous on Sunday (two days ago), a film that is directed/produced/scripted by Michelle Chong. I think she really is a superwoman, doing so many things at one go. She is rightfully the successor of the now infamous Jack Neo. My sister still works, but she's quitting next year near March to prepare for the trip to Korea. My mother is just normal, but abnormal when it comes to topics related to Taiwan. Yeah we're having a trip to Taiwan AGAIN. Look at my font usage. I'm DREADING IT FOR SURE. Nothing to shop in a winter wonderland that we are going for the THIRD time. Grrr. Mountain climbing again which my family would scorn at me for my very reduced stamina. My father on the other hand keeps pushing me to sms Miss Ong/Mrs Lay Naing for a recommendation letter to apply into SUTD. Okay so I just smsed Mrs LN this morning for a soft copy of my SGC and she said okay but later in the day ^^

Youtube, Activities/Things that I am interested in/want to do, What Am I thinking now.
Okay I've put them together because it might make things easier.

I wanna learn everything that I have to know about K-Pop, and recently got a mini crush on Beast/B2ST. Ever since MAMA 2011. It will grow into an unstoppable infatuation anyway. I want to know more about all the bands in the industry. Not just K-pop but other musicians from everywhere. From Taiwan, from USA, Korea, etc (Hey XiaoGui/Huang Hong Sheng was damn cute in the movie Already Famous. I really love his cute smile, it's just killing me.)

ID2N is a variety show that Lee Seung Gi is in, and it's long. Like 300 plus episodes long and I'm only at 40plus, ugh. I'm in love with this cute guy ever since I watched Shining Inheritance/Brilliant Legacy and My Girlfriend is a Gumiho. Plus I wanna watch Running Man and Strong Heart, and I wanna watch videos on Heechul!! ROAR. I think I need to schedule my time well so that I can do my drama-marathon at the same time. I just started on Reinoryokusha Odagiri Kyoko no Uso yesterday halfway. And I actually forgot Tanihara Shosuke's name ARGH!! Okay you get the idea. There are so many things to watch! Including Queen SeonDeok which I dint know would turn out nice at the back... Oh and movies too. I watch The Notebook last week and it was super awesome. Planning to watch more romance movies and of other categories. From many languages as well.

Other than watching/listening music and movies. I want to learn Korean, and French. I think they are awesome languages. And French because of Ratatouille (damn nice movie on Channel 5 and then Wall.E from Disney Pixar), and maybe because the dreamy feeling is back. After my stressful start of the holidays. Because initially I dint know what I should do, together with guilt that I havent done well for my exams, and then I was sick last week. Tuesday night was having sore throat from just breathing. So went to the doctor on Wednesday morning, then had fever on Thursday and Friday morning. Friday night had unknown stomachache. And I'm feeling better now despite a minor nose-block and a lot of phlegm :/

Actually I've done up a list of what I need to do during the holidays:
1. Type out all my sermon notes
2. Learn to make bead accessories
3. Drawing/Sketching/Painting (feel like doing up one today)
4. Put up all the woodcraft models (the ones like the puzzle and you slot them in together)
5. Tidy up my desk (HAVE TO DO IT TODAY)
6. Watch movies
7. K BOX
8. Exercise/Other "beautifying" processes
9. Find a job (probably in Jan since there's the Taiwan trip. Dang I cant go for Christmas dinner and camp)
10. Art exhibitions (There's one now at National Museum of Singapore with pieces from a well-known museum in France. I wanna go~!)
11. Explore whole of Singapore
12. Read novels. (I wanna do so for Nicholas Sparks especially after watching The Notebook)
13. Find out more about Korean Bands/other songs (said so earlier)
14. Learn cycling
15. Learn skating/ ice-skating
16. Fly a kite
17. Research on all the stuff that I dont know (general knowledge/fashion/etc.)

Okay that's alot.

For what I'm thinking now. I said so earlier that I'm having this dreamy feeling. It feels like the feeling I got from looking at nice pictures at deviantart. On Sunday we went AMK Hub and nearby shopping, eating, walking, and suddenly I experience an influx of feelings, something like inspirations for my sketches/paintings. It feels good. Especially it's the holidays, I'm rightful to own this state of mind isn't it. I guess I'm in a good mood then.

But I'm not when it comes to my career/my possible uni course. I really have no idea what I want. Sincerely I pray to God for an aspiration. Maybe Architecture or design-related. Or Chemistry related. If I ever get into a university. That is why I'm hesitating to apply for SUTD. Knowing that chances of getting good grades are just miniature. Sigh.

Anyway. It's a really long post! I suddenly thought of another thing I should do. Or two. One, practise my piano and aim for a Distinction (: Even though now there's a danger that I might get a different piano teacher, because Peili laoshi's schedule is like damn packed. And I've been a damn lazy student. I think both of us are exasperated. So I must work hard! And possibly that might be my career in the future, or a part-time to earn money... Who knows?

Two, change my blogskin? Haha. Following my dreamy feeling.

Three, change my email address? I'm tired of 'being confident', on name and not in reality haha.

Okay. It's really tiring to type this, but I feel like Ive let down a part of my burden. And really sorting out a part of me. Thanks again my dear diary (:

Keep holding on, cause we're gonna make it through.

2011-08-03T09:42:00.003+08:00

Hey dead blog. Yup i'm still surviving, but i feel that i'm left with my last breath to live. A levels is such an ass, seriously. I'm losing motivation to study, even though it's like less than 2 weeks to prelims. Damn i feel like a retard. I'm using my phone to type this (yeah thank God my mother got a mini data plan for me :D) cause i think i'm really suffocating with my own procrastination and my body's lack of a sense of urgency. I'm actually staring into space at the stairs outside the hall. Damn it, my low productivity in studying. Okay crap, i've gotta go back and chiong my complex numbers. Sometimes i wonder if my dream of getting straight As is such a naive thought that it's never attainable. Oh well yes, given the B for PW, but still, i'm seeing hope for Econs. Did you know i've moved up to an S grade? Hallelujah :) yup so my dream should be able to be achieved! Sigh. Power of blog: Convincing the self.

BrotherSu (브라더수) - 01. It Was You [kor/eng. lyrics]

2011-07-10T18:25:00.000+08:00

This is nice as well (: Even though I dont understand a thing.
Oh btw, stopped piano lessons. More time to study on weekends.

HIATUS.

2011-07-10T18:22:00.000+08:00

Yeah, that guy's some hawt shit right.
Anyway, had been away, so this time I'm just coming back for a whilt before I'm off to make my dream of scoring straight A's come true lol. Had been staying in school to study til 9plus lately, shall continue to do that, got a new handphone. Had shopping trips with family. Econs is getting fun and I'm kinda failing Org Chem, needa study more. That's life for now.

Anyways contemplating to get a new layout for my blog. But I love the current skin so...
http://www.blogskins.com/info/341692/
http://www.blogskins.com/info/311934/
http://www.blogskins.com/info/131865/
http://www.blogskins.com/info/357422/
http://www.blogskins.com/info/349274/
http://www.blogskins.com/info/172935/
http://www.blogskins.com/info/353868/
Talking about choices.

This is awesome too!

So yeah. That's all about it. Time to chiong studies!

2011-05-23T15:05:00.003+08:00

There's another, YET ANOTHER U for Econs again.

That feeling came back to strangle all that's optimistic in me, leaving me with dread and doom for A levels.

How/what am I supposed to do? Yes, it calls for time-management. I though I would really do better. Like at least, get an S and get my ass off U for once, just once. But now, how/what am I supposed to do? I know my question sounds really weird. But the thing is, I think I know what I should really do = START STUDYING WAY BEFORE TESTS AND STOP DREAMING AND DEMORALISING MYSELF.

But the thing is, I'm not motivated to do anything at all. No shit interests me at the moment, except Dong Yi LOL. I'm planning to do revision once I finish this drama.

I signed up for a table at A1-01. Haven't use yet. Should start using yeah.

Saturday was Arts Fusion. Hmmm. Was surreal. Friday was Salvador Dali and Van Gogh, even more surreal, shall elaborate when I feel like it. Yesterday was church and tuition. Hmmm. Today was Cham SPA, felt shiok for once.

I feel like running into a wall, full force.

Or maybe find somewhere to cry my lungs out to clear my mind and heart and face the damned reality that I SUCK AT STUDIES, CAUSE I DINT PUT IN ANY EFFORT AT ALL.

Shit, happens, happened, ):

But I will not, AND I MEAN NOT LET THIS CONTINUE. I SWEAR.

Dong Yi,

2011-05-17T14:41:00.002+08:00

Is a korean drama that got the whole family hooked recently, including me, and on this Vesak Day aka HOLIDAY, ruined the mood of the whole family. See how influential it is.

Bloody hell, it's not it's fault. But all of you, your bloody selfish-ness, your ignorance, AND BEING FUCKING INCONSIDERATE TO HOW I FEEL IN THE FIRST PLACE, TRYING TO FIND EXCUSES TO VENT YOUR ANGER, AND INEVITABLY IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT?

WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY.

Whatever, I think it's also a great chance to concentrate on my homework now. Thanks for all the bloody reminders AS IF I DONT KNOW.

I'm now thinking to study hard and enter NUS so as to move in to their dorm/U-Town, where they call it, when the time comes.

On a lighter note, Mr Poon turned 35 yesterday, and thank God I'm in time for celebration :D
Kthxbai. Dong Yi really rawks (:

2011-05-11T21:50:00.001+08:00

I figured out, yet again, that I am a very sensitive person. Very, sensitive, person. ;/
And insensitive to how others feel ;/

2011-05-11T20:50:00.002+08:00

TSH emailed my father. I'm emotionless really.

Today was the celebration tea for the SYF participants, for all PA groups. Before that we had Niji during choir practice :D

Something weird happened, as if something embarassing happened and I'm brooding over it till now. But yeah, I just dont know why. It's the usual thing. It's like, I'm questioning myself, whether I like you or not. Like really, when he was away, or rather when I'm away, I dont really feel anything, I dont miss him. But when I come back. I forget another him and start feeling wrong, again? Until now. I wonder what will happen after Arts Fusion. I wonder what will happen when I graduate. Will I cry because I miss the people, or if I'll ever miss you at all? All the thoughts, the scenarios that cooked up in my head for some weird reason that I cant explain, I'm thinking if they are worth anything or do they really explain anything at all. Everything is just so weird, I'm feeling scared if I'm leaving. Your face seems to be. The favourite thing that my mind likes to materialise.

Is this love? But why is it so, uncertain?

Or are you just an interesting creature that I've come across and what my mind fancied, temporarily?

I really wish you are just a passing infatuation and I can still look up to you as someone that I can say hi on the streets, and maybe when I come back to YJ, we can still talk, normally.

I dont know whether we are talking normally at all NOW. ;/
That's quite a sad thing huh.

Anyways, BANJA AGAIN FOR YJCHORALE, PLUS SOP2s, I'm lovin' it :D
Off to do homework!

2011-05-09T23:42:00.002+08:00

DEMORALISING DAY.
Realised that. I really wasted a large chunk of my life being nonchalent to studies and a lot of other things in life, and just wanting to rest. Asked myself what have I really done to deserve any break, any lying on the bed and just sleeping. The answer is like, none at all.

3/25. IS MY BLOODY MARKS FOR ECONS ESSAY TEST. And seriously. That's quite a boomz wake-up call. I really felt like shit. And maybe that might be a partial reason why I stoned for the whole 3hr tutorial today. Like seriously, there are some stuffs that went into my brain, I really am sure of that, but, most others just cant get in. I FEEL LIKE A BLOODY FAILURE.

And, what really pissed me off was when my friends exclaimed my marks so loudly as if 3/25 isnt clear enough. But maybe it's just part of their personality, I cant blame them. But everytime I hear someone verbalising my weaknesses/flaws/failures, like totally, my mood is like WTFWTHGODIELAHASS. That means, it's my own problem for getting pissed. And everytime it's like, f, idk whether its just anger or anger + stress + feel like shit + etc, I WANNA CRY SO BADLY. Yes, I feel like crying now when I'm typing this. So when I said bye to them, I turned into the other direction and started shedding tears unwillingly, but I told myself, I will want to cry in my own room. So just tolerated and ate a Cornetto and went back home to my bed and laid down and tried crying, but this time not so ... It's not what I wanted.

I have always wanted to find a time at home to cry my lungs out, during the period of time when we are still practicing for SYF, when I started gaining attention from TSH for my U grades, when I'm still having baptism classes/piano/tuition, when Miss Ong started to feel disappointed in me, when I feel that I cant cope.

Maybe I should try tomorrow. YES, it does sound silly. But I need to scream, I shed tears to relieve stress. I need to punch and throw things, even though I may not this time, since it's been long ever since we moved here and things placed in the house are orderly, and there are a lot of glass in this house. Like crap. I need a place to scream then, some place. A cliff? A place with a clear blue sky and green plains? Yeah I would like that.

I think I need to start organising too ;/ My room (actually my desk), my bag,
and my life. Which kinda centres around studies. Please God, be my centre in my life. And take away this pain I'm experiencing. I feel like utter shit now.

Morning Star would be a nice song to sing :D The loss of my freedom, and maybe sanity.

Anyways today was the Mothers' Day dinner, at Thai Express instead of Seoul Garden because of long queue, expensive la, they say food no nice, but I think it's okay.
So hope that there's no homework due tmr (today), looking forward to choir practice that's resuming tmr! Cause now's 0000 10 May hahaha! There's celebratory lunch/dinner for us SYF peeps :D

Ciao!

2011-05-06T20:22:00.001+08:00

http://www.timeoutsingapore.com/music/feature/seasoned-professionals

Hahahas, do you know what I'm thinking? :D :D
Heh heh heh. I feel like a stalker though.

SILVER.

2011-05-06T17:47:00.002+08:00

YES. So happy. Yeah even though I'm like 2 days late.
4th May 2011 will surely be one of the best days in 2011, :D
Missing Mr Poon though. Hahas will see him on Wednesday.
Yes suddenly craving for choir practices. The YJChorale Banja yesterday in the quadrangle right after assembly says alot about us bonded together. And also today's choir outing which I dint go, cause none of my friends in JC2 going ;/ ;/
Life suddenly feels empty when SYF is over. I wonder what will happen when I step down, will I be feeling worse? ;/

A lot happened recently including yesterday's Chem Mock SPA and ST2 retest (like I also dunno how I failed it. The topics are even covered in recent tuition classes =.=). And today TSH flared up, like to a higher level that's unusual. Well, I can empathise with her. Give work and notes, no one read and do ;/ Sad life. Today was supposedly the "early release day" due to polling day tmr and we were released at 1.30pm today - makes no difference to me since that's my usual ending time on Fridays. Oh yeah there's this song Rebecca Black - Friday. HAHAAA.

I MISS CHOIR ALREADY. OMG. Like I'm unable to believe, that I have come to like this new choir 2011. Not just choir 2010. <3

4th May, alot of things happened. And I think I'm too lazy to type out everything here. It'll be one of my fondest memories in life. The fondest memory in YJC. Anyway, the only thing I love about YJC is chorale what. LOL hahaa. I do like some things/people too.
So much more coming on the way. Better start studying ;/ Like really start. NOW.

Baptism day, Easter Day, Good Friday,

2011-04-25T00:21:00.002+08:00

Yes dear Serena has been baptised yesterday, like now it's Monday effectively.
That feeling was like mixed anxiety nervous when about to get splashed/during the blessing prayers abit shocked upons splashed with unexpected amount of water euphoria when shaking hands glad to be over and taking photos and normal again. And talked, and went home, sleep, go tuition, came back home with Catherine.

I mean, afterall, it's just a proclaiming of your faith + joining the church effectively right, but why do I feel so shy that I dont even feel like looking at the photos/video taken? ;/

But anyway, this long weekend is meaningful, I mean in terms of thinking about Christ (effectively only yesterday) and on Thursday after school choir chionged to church service, effectively for half an hour.

And in terms of doing homework, it's wasted. But whatever, gonna do it today morning in school. Asked for a table to join Club 133 (principal's idea)but not using it sigh, they got this spinoff song of this idea using the Dawn Wind melody.

Choir is fun these days? And gonna have choir this whole week, I'm looking forward to practices and I dont know why, even though they are kicking out people ;/
Let's chiong the last bit of this marathon and get our Silver and above,
<3 you Chorale. No matter what. I wont let SYF sour my feelings towards you, even though it did previously. :D

P.S I cant get over the fact that I look like Mr Poon! Argh.
And found out something damn jin4bao4 in choir related to PHS. Woah.

Okay goodnight for me, but goodmorning for the world. Love you Jesus for what you did for me and for yesterday, shall lead my life centred around You, Amen.

Michael Bublé - Hollywood (OFFICIAL Video)

2011-04-09T15:59:00.001+08:00

Hahas wrong vid in last post. Okay I think I should watch a few more vids on him and go do my homework and studying, BYE~

Michael Bublé is such hawt shit.

2011-04-09T12:39:00.000+08:00

And another one.

Lovely Saturday where I think it might be the one and only Saturday when I can slack at home WHOLE DAY without having to worry about piano and tuition and school choir. Thank God they are having Maths trail today.
I'm really scared for SYF. It's just, a mere 3 weeks left, and a lot of people are still not focusing. Yesterday was like, woah. Even though Mr Poon dint get as angry as last time where I really freaked out, but still, I think he's VERY VERY disappointed with us. Especially Sop 2s where we keep going out of tune. My gosh what's wrong with them seriously. I thought I really went through everything nicely and every single note. Forgetting about dynamics but I did tell them about pronunciation too. But how. They just went wrong when they're out of Brahms Room, they did sound good in Brahms Room, sigh.

I think that Mr Poon is really a great guy considering that he has to put up with this nonsense, nonsense = us ):
Am I really that bad as a Sectional Leader? And an exco in leading mass warm-ups? Sigh. No respect for us at all. No respect for the fact that in 3 weeks it will be OUR BIG DAY.

That the BIG DAY is for ALL CHOIRS PARTICIPATING, they're squeezing 19 choirs in one day. Right. And the comparisons between us and ACJC showed one thing though, that we are really damn lazy and damn spoilt. Argh. But no matter what, I prayed to God this morning and a few days ago, and shall pray to Him everyday from now on to give me strength and wisdom to utilise every choir practice efficiently :D

In my heart, I really want a Gold though. But since "we have no resources to achieve that" according to Mr Poon, and actually want to ask him why hmmmm, we can only hope for a high high Silver. But look at us now, isnt that a COP? Or Bronze? :/ SIGHHHHH. God will listen to prayers, I believe.

Anyways, took a day off on Thursday to chill at home cause too tired from keep waking up at 4am in the morning to do homework these few days and I've got sore throat WHICH HAVEN'T RECOVERED FOR 2 MONTHS ARGH. Dr Hui said that if I dont recover from eating my medicine I need to see a specialist, like woah. But anyway I got to play with my cousin, where the family came on Monday? Or was it Sunday? And they left on Thursday night. I swear I have a damn cute cousin. Super rowdy and playful and energetic and sunny and cheeky and cute and whatever nonsense you can call this little dinosaur. Hahaha. Yesterday after choir rushed to church choir. Today slacked at home.

Block test results are like, C for GP, U for Math and Econs, E for Chem and Geog under the new system. Sucks right. I know. Have to study/do homework today. Jiayou Serena ^^

~I just haven't met you yet~

Sky Sailing - Brielle

2011-03-23T09:28:00.002+08:00

There's a handwritten note pressed in the door of her screened in porch
And I am sailing away recalling that day miles from shore
She was still wearing white and robins egg blue, Her grandmother's dress
When I left early this year, how I wound up here is anyone's guess
When the new sides grow old and I start to feel cold I'll sail home again

Goodbye Brielle
Only whispers can tell
Of the sweet dreams that we knew so well
I'll see you around our dear ocean town
The frozen days we set ablaze
Sent me drifting away
Like a butterfly, you floated by and now you're alone
I wish I knew when I'll be back again
So until then I wish you well
My dear Brielle

Strolling over the sand, cobblestone paths that wind through the trees
Breathing the sweet forest air makes a blue bird aware that she could be free
When the new sides grow old and I start to feel cold I'll sail home again

Goodbye Brielle
Only whispers can tell
Of the sweet dreams that we knew so well
I'll see you around our dear ocean town
The frozen days we set ablaze
Sent me drifting away
Like a butterfly, you floated by and now your alone
I wish I knew when I'll be back again
So until then I wish you well
So until then I wish you well
I love you my darling farewell
My dear Brielle

Isnt this song sweet? Might be my new blogsong ^^
Anyways, I'm supposed to study chem now but super not in the mood.
Yesterday night was disastrous, sis had a fight with mum and I'm so dang distracted had to go out for about 30 min plus to study but wth nothing went into my head. So in the end went back home read the Bible, calmed my heart and slept.

'Slept'. Because my mother had a bad dream and she has this habit of screaming her lines off from her dream in reality. Like "THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU" and "BASTARD". And she kept giving pekchek sighs. And I'm damn fed up. And no mood to study until now. Urgh.

Choir is a bitch. Like school choir. I mean, sometimes I dunno how to do my job anymore when nothing goes into their head and they keep relying on those who know how to sing the lines, for example me Agnes etc. BULLSHIT. One time it was last Friday and I was damn angry that I kinda screamed and cried. URGH. Whatever, and the fault is MINE for not teaching properly. ARGH. Okay, yes, I know that it is my fault. But seriously, they are not taking sectionals seriously at all. Damnnit. But thank God it's blocks and having a holiday from giving sectionals. But I rather have choir instead of blocks.

GP on Monday was like, both essay and AQ were more like one sided because no time to form counter argument. And Econs yesterday, I think overall okay but I left a 15m essay blank because 1. no time and 2. dunno what to write.

I assume that my knowledge of 1/2 of the topics tested for Chem is already in my brain. Need to chiong all in this 3 hours. I haven't touched any math topic so DIEDIE MUST MUST and I mean MUST chiong today/tonight/tmr morning.

Oh by the way, church choir concert on 319 is awesome, got Pei En down for a while before she left for her cousin's bday celebration. Last Thurs sneaked into Meridian JC to study and walao I seriously liked their environment at first sight, super different from YJ's. Conducive for studying, nice uniform, blue paint, and SITTING TOILETS :D Talked with Annabelle too (:

Okay going to chiong chem now, I wanna at least pass it plus my geog. Math is like vectors + complex numbers + calculus = MEGADEATH hahahaha. Okay ciao!

Things We Forget: #650

2011-03-15T14:31:00.000+08:00

Things We Forget: #650: "club street, singapore"

Yep, that's what I'm gonna do now. Start trying to get As!

What the hell is wrong with me.

2011-03-15T14:13:00.003+08:00

I just deactivated my Facebook account in the midst of playing some games, and woah, it did felt kinda relieving.

I'm BLOODY TIRED from all the events and the schedule that I'm having.
Choir. Church choir. Church. Piano. Make-up tuition, since we are having Sat pracs nowadays. Baptism class. Crap. I really do feel that I'm falling to pieces.

Failed Napfa 2.4km by 1 min, sit-ups and SBJ. Like, some weeks ago. Whatever, was so stressed out that I kept crying and stromed out of PE lessons. Lame right I know.

Straight Us for Econs CA. Like including today's test which, somehow I kinda mixed up the time slot of the lesson, I came in like 40 mins late and only did part a and submitted my paper. Urgh, should redo again. And she kept commenting in my tests and homework that I dint put in effort and should strike a balance between cca and work. But what the hell. It's SYF. And Mdm Koh our dear principal WANTS US TO GET A SILVER, although she dint say it directly. And she wants to talk to my mother, and me after blocks.

Which I want to say that blocks are next week. And I highly doubt that they will not have choir prac. And seriously, I'm so dead that I really really dont feel like studying.

Recently I think I (might) have contracted a certain mental illness that I'm highly and purely repulsive of people's talking, especially my family and friends in school. Like c'mon Serena what the hell is wrong with you.

And Miss Ong is 'disappointed' in me. "People study harder in JC2 and you slack in JC2 instead".

I'm kinda feeling that maybe that type of reverse psychology, including TSH's, may and is starting to work on me. That may be the primary reason why I deactivated my account whoohoo.

I think I threw face, ALOT of times in school choir. Sigh. Dont feel like mentioning it. BLEH. Next time do things must use brain plan first. Like now, for A levels. I'm freaking scared.

But I'm now even more scared because a large part of me is staying ignorant and nonchalent. Dunno what to do in the future, dont feel like doing anything.
When will you grow up Serena?

2011-02-15T18:29:00.001+08:00

There is just too much homework and burdens that I think that my early leave is justified. Despite that I really was having abdominal pains. Turns out that I have muscle ache like wth. Kthx bai.

FRICKEN TIRED.

2011-02-13T20:20:00.003+08:00

Someone bless me a break from school piano choir family etc. DAMNNIT. I'm drained.

Yeah finally, somehow catching up with Chemistry, had Math test last Thurs which should be able to pass I think, Econs is still forever so boomz, Geography is like, okay I should go do some reading. GP was like. Idk Mrs Lay Naing had this outbreak of anger I think, resorted to telling us to record on what we should do/how in order to stop ourselves from not handing in/doing homework on time. And wanting us to let our parents listen to it. Someone cried in our class because of her tone. Okay. I think she's a bit. Erm, my teacher. Maybe she needs to cool down. But I can purely empathise with her. If' it's me, it'll be much worse.

Then there's the choir orientation for J1s. Quite haphazard. But they say okay. Ytd got CIP. Kewl. Totally high. There's tuition piano and the church 103th anniversary service plus dinner. Today went to bainian at Jianwei's house.

Whatever. I think there's shitlaod of stuffs waiting for me to do. As in homework.
There's baptism class and the, church orchestra practice. Starting this week.
I'm starting to hope for the SYF to just come and go.
Mr Poon is finally coming back after resting from the dengue fever. I think I kinda cursed him LOL.
And oh yeah, Autumn's Concerto is nice. Mum bought the DVD. YAY. Can catch up with missed episodes.

I just need a break from everything. Seriously. I have a 18 years old brain, definitely it knows, at least, or recognises a certain sense of urgency. I wanna try one day without anyone reminding me of anything and I am able to just do all the stuffs by myself.
I WANT MY OWN ROOM TO EMO + DO MY OWN WORK. PUHLEESE.

Surprise Party

2011-02-04T12:52:00.001+08:00

Anyways, i have to catch up with homework and school syllabus ;/
(And therefore)Thank God dont have to bainian with family today.

AND THIS IS REALLY AWESOME. Have a good laugh, turn CC on!
And you must watch the original! AWESOME SHIT.

Chinese New Year.

2011-02-04T12:17:00.002+08:00

Heys reader, if you are reading. Or if anyone's reading at all. Happy Lunar New Year.
Yeah long time no see dear blog. So much has happened.
But basically just stoning at home now with tv movies.

School these days are is like, stoning during lectures. I go for ITP (Intensive Training Programme) but skipped for this week. Kinda developed an irrational hatred for the PE department cause some people only have muscles but no brains to think before they say or act. Cant really catch up with homework. Sleeping late. PMS everyday. Dont feel belonged to anywhere. Like school clique. With their own discussions and etc. And church you see.

There's a new caring group for me and then when they share, no one seems to really listen. And there's this photoshoot thing yesterday after the service and no one really tried to find me to include me in the photo. I mean, I cant blame them. Weihao's phone is flat. -.-

Yeah there's still family outings and dinners. One day we went to catch Season Of The Witch AND IT'S A EFFING BLOODY ANTICHRIST FILM. Bullshit. And I think it should be categorised into the horror genre. Damnit. We went off halfway, I think it's nearing to the end of the show.
And one day we went to check out the Taiwan delicacies little restaurant at Upper Thomson Road. Awesome shit. :D

Mum decided to give us like extra allowance, in lieu of Isabelle going for part-time at a crepe shop in Bugis, wanna really check that place out, the menu's tempting. Speaking of which (okay this is a bit random), I changed my piano piece, from Beethoven to John Field, cause the speed of the piece freaked me out. And John Field is awesome.

Okay there is still school open house, choir open house. Awesome. CNY performance is also boomz. Enjoyed myself although I dint during the practices.

There was the PTD for J1 parents during the Jam&Hop. Seriously nostalgic, and I relieved that feeling of falling foor that guy. Yes, this is irrational. Totally irrational. But it's so cool. The bonding (before I feel so screwed up), the yelling and jumping for the band, the food, etc. And yeah saw some exchoir members, like seniors. Edna was there, and consulted her for NAFA stuffs. And the excorting of parents to the auditorium, sneaking of food, was cool. Really.

Yesterday went to QianQian's house to bainian. And got some advice for future routes, that no matter what, just pray to God and everything will be fine.

OMG THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH TO UPDATE.

Sigh, but o9ne thing I would really like to share here would be that, I keep having this dreamy feeling that I would really want a holiday on my own. To a place. A house or a beach maybe. Where it's sunny, not heaty like Singapore. (Talking about this, recently it kept raining and some parts of SG and Malaysia has been flooded. Thank God not so bad these two/three days) And you can have a clear blue sky to stare at. And maybe above you will be painted glass. You can just sit there lie there and feel the nice cooling warmth (oxymoron) on your skin. There are coloured lights filling up the room. Nothing to worry about in this world.

Or maybe a part of the world where there is a vast grass patch, in the mountains. Somehow this scene is taken from an advertisement, where the couple in the tv just stares at a village in the valleys. And it's a supposingly cloudy evening. There would be a part of a sky faraway where it seems like it's going to rain, yet the place where they are, where I am, is still dry, still safe.

Shingz I wish I can really dream like this whole day.

But oh well. I'm taking A levels this year ain't I.

2011-01-08T19:51:00.002+08:00

Math test yesterday was a disaster. Hahas, to think I studied till 2am and nothing got into my head. But, accumulated 'sure-get'-marks are about 50 LOL.
Choir was fun, never felt so hyper before.
NEW SPECTACLES! Loving them so much, I think I became prettier, SERIOUS! Black is kewl :D
Church choir was like, Idk this shit pms feeling came back. Argh, but yay there's sushi to cheer me up.

Today was okay. Piano isnt. Gotta buck up! In every aspect of life! And achieve my new year resolutions!
And holiday homework =.=
Okay now watching Enchanted on Channel 5 with dinner hahas. Kthxbai.

2011-01-06T15:08:00.001+08:00

Facebook is turning me into a zombie that I despise heavily. Like really, I think I'm quitting soon.

And, my answer to the previous post is NO. And I think it should be true. But I am scared, I keep thinking of him everyday. What if the answer is otherwise?

Choir practice and getting new specs tmr make me excited.
OPEN HOUSE NEXT WED AND WE STILL HAVE LESSONS WTH.
Okay, I think I'm going off to macs to eat and study, kthxbai.

2010-12-31T07:59:00.002+08:00

Okay so I woke up today again at this time because my mother needs to go to work. I woke up and suddenly thought of something that really scares me. That I have fallen in love with you.

No it's not that him or anything but some guy. That guy. Shingz/Shit. I dont want it to be because of his face, I want it to be because of the character. But this time, I think both of this appeals to me. I DONT KNOW WHY but I decided to sort my thoughts online, especially here since I neglected Blogger a lot ;/

Okay. ...
I dont know whether I should post this or not. I am scared, that somehow someone might just find out my blog and leading to finding out my darkest secrets which I am not really ready to share, yet/period.

Okay so he's in my group and has been caring.
I dont know whether he is caring is because I am also in choir or what. And also because he is, the leader. LOL. (Shit is it really appropriate to talk here. LOL I think you might be thinking that might as well dont share here la. But, oh well.)
He initiates convos, he also always initiates to sit beside me. He always pays attention and sit very close to me whenever I share/just normal talk in the group.
So I think there are a few instances when our group needs to clear the breakfast table, or rather the table after breakfast lol. But I think I conveniently forgot about that an I was somewhere else.

And I am feeling guilty throughout the camp. And I keep sneaking glances at him, ARGH. Is it because he also looks cute? Like really. He has this face that reminds me of chipmunks, I DONT KNOW WHY ALRIGHT.

And yesterday when I saw some pictures of the rehearsals for the church service on Christmas Eve, that warm feeling suddenly gushed through me and I realised that I dont dare/too shy to look at his virtual face. LOL I know it's a bit LOL but, yeah thats the story.

I am still guilty after the camp when I posted that previous post below. And still guilty now. And also guilty for that sneak peeks, what if he thinks I'm weird or something. ARGH.

Shit you mosquitoes.

Makrothumia,

2010-12-30T20:14:00.006+08:00

CHURCH CAMP WAS DAMN AWESOME (, I SWEAR).
Although I dint help out in certain stuffs, leading me to 耿耿于怀, ;/
But I have awesome people to talk to heehee, love the games. :D
Came back home at 1 plus to eat macs with isabelle, only icelemontea and cinnamon melts, cause no appetite, and came back to sleep. Now FB-ed and still no appetite to eat dinner. Maybe later...

NO REVISION DONE FOR MATH ARGH, only Hello Stranger and half of Tron. Thought that we'll be watching Gulliver's Travels today but it's been shifted to 1st Jan hoho.
There's choir practice tmr weee. Okay bye I'm gonna unpack my stuffs now HEH.

(edited on 31 dec, church service on 24th was awesome, but heels nearly took my life. had a sore throat, still having ;/ , but i think i put in my best. God shall see it)

Okay, update~!

2010-12-24T10:53:00.003+08:00

13th: Rapunzel the movie, AWESOME.

15th: Collect passport and went gaigai around Juncti8n.

16th: Hello Stranger with YJChorale! (Mainly Exco) Damn funny although missed the opening, ending is like WTF. Then went to eat lalala. Epic photos at Macs in Northpoint.

17th: Catherine came swimming at my house and ate bananaprata and thosai at Ayza's Restaurant, NAISE since I koped alot from her.

18th: Tuition only no piano cause my piano teacher not feeling well heh.

20th: Tron! Very last minute decision, and scare me when mum's phone went flat and I'm in the process of keying in her info. LOL. The movie is like, it made me have a headache, or somehow before the movie I'm already having a headache. Worst movie-watching experience ;/ But the plot and visual effects made up for that :D
Then after that chionged dinner and went to choir practice. Zhaosia-ed at a certain point until damn cmi and obvious, damn paisei =.=

21st: Ate breakfast at A&A, banana prata and thosai with grandma accompanying me because I took her to the doctor later, wanted to walk to Ayza's but I scared my grandma cmi with the 'long distance' for her. Thank God it's just normal coughing, the prolonged disease is like scary.

23rd: YESTERDAY. SERIOUSLY I FAIL, like really phail. I failed to realise that I actually have an adapter in my Samsung phone set where I can use it for uploading my photos OMG. I failed in my fashion sense and time-management when picking a suitable dress for my sister. Then went home to sleep in guilt and woke up had dinner and chiong to choir practice.

Today morning I dreamed of Mr Poon. In my house(current and old), comparing foot size and etc. Like singing and talking to me. LIKE OMG. LIKE OMG OMG OMG. I'm starting to think whether I've fallen in love with him (PUI). But I think he's actually a nice catch, since he knows how to bake sing play piano has a GREAT (o.O) sense of humour/sacarsm/whatever you call it and damn filthy rich hahaha. I think the reason why I dreamed of him is because recently I keep fantasising that one day I'll enter LaSelle and study and coincidentally have him as my teacher and all the bickering scenes, and THE AUDITION SITUATION lol lol lol. WTH SERIOUSLY.

Yesterday was an epic day la. He finally talked to me, after consecutive cold sundays, and I think it all attributes to game requests on FB. And my mother gave me 40 dollars to pay him back, and I think I'm doing it today or Sunday. Whatever. It's nice to have a friend back?

I forgot which choir practice it was but when we got to the bus stop I just dont feel like saying hello or anything, and despite the fact that I'm stepping damn near to the curb he still walk pass in front of me and stared at me as if waiting for any of my reaction, LOL. Then sit beside me and took out his textbooks and gave me similiar jibes. So in the end after prompting by my mother (and she got angry when I ignored those, DAMN IRRITATING IT'S MY CHOICE OF WHETHER I'M GOING TO IGNORE PEOPLE LA SO WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM =.=) I said bye in the bus before getting off. Thinking back, it's just plain stupid.

And back home she just asked me why I did so and I told her everything, like 2 days later before a church service. LOL. I seriously dont like her prompting and prompting and asking. Damn irritating I swear, and her tone is as if like someone's gonna die and I'm not going to save him/her. ZZZ. But anyways it's over and I guess next time if she do so then I try my best to phrase it in the nicest way to tell her to stop asking. LIKE REALLY STOP. If not, I swear I guess I'll scream SHUT UP in her face.... Yes I know I'm mean la. So I'm sorry.

And yay got earpieces for Chrismas present! :D
Ciao for breakfast!

2010-12-13T00:12:00.003+08:00

Hello! Didnt go to church choir on last friday though, cause my mummy and sister ponned. Joined them lor. Saturday was like no tuition woohoo, but got piano. And after that on the way home near the small convenience store and saw HIM. Omg. Quickly siamed since his back was facing me and walking into my right direction.

Today was cool? Sermon wasnt. Sigh. If ZhengChuanDao has slides that would be much better ;/
Love the sweet that Mingting gave :D
And just now watched Iron Man and Love in A Cab, both are like never watch fully one ):
But they are awesome movies!
Facebooked. LGMH, KGMH and MLIA :D
And I just bathed :D

Thought of alot of things though. About the future. About now. Like what will society be like, what will be my job, interaction with people, and somehow I thought of choosing to retain to change my subject combination so that I'll have better A level results? And I'll have time to prepare for music college auditions?! LOL. Goodnight. No, GOOD MORNING.

2010-12-10T17:47:00.003+08:00

Hey. Long time no see uh. I guess, so much things have happened.
There's meet up with Mabel and Pei En at YCK market on last Thursday, love the thai chicken rice there (:
Shared alot with them. Then later helped them to shop for stuff at Bishan while I bought this cute pen for 60 cents at More Than Words :D

Friday there's the Camp Excel thing, nice talks by Thaddeus Lawrence and the... psychologist LOL. Sat beside CK during Mr Lawrence's. Overwhelming briefing of next year's schedule, I guess we won't step down until our prelims is nearing. :P Love the orange juice and then on that day because I dint bring enough money to go for lunch at Ishi Mura, me and Agnes went on to become members choir champ, not planning anymore :D

Saturday was usual. Sunday was I-dont-feel-like-sitting-and-eating-with-them day. LOL. Went home early with the excuse of wanting to pack my stuff for choir camp but slacked and procrastinated until 11pm to pack LOL. Half done.

Monday-Tuesday: CHOIR CAMP. Thing is I set out of house late because of packing. Not last minute lah, I guess I dilly dally too long LOL. And I GOT LOST ON THE WAY THERE, raining somemore nia. Boarded the 354 bus and wanted to pass through Escape Themed Park but that gate is locked. Can't find the main gate of Coasta Sands Resorts =.= So in the end Catherine and Miss Neo came to fetch me by car near the Downtown East. Sigh.

Got there and put down stuffs, late by like 50 mins or more? ): And the guys are playing Twister, and a few minutes later Mr Poon came in and watched as well. HAHAHA laugh until cannot tahan, Shiphrah and Taqiuddin are the yoga masters LOL. And later Winnie the Pooh's version of Uno cards while Mr Poon plus Danielle YingXuan Shiphrah played Monopoly Deal, HAHAHA.

Then later set up the BBQ fire, LOL, I dint help out much nia. Mr Poon just came and said "How many bimbos are needed to set up the fire?" HAHAHA, and left. But he gave us very nice cookies! :D Then they took a total of 3 hours to set up the fire, in between helped tham a bit while me Taqiuddin Jiaqiu Agnes Geraldine played Monopoly Deal. And watched Superman Returns (part 1), and then Breakout on Channel 8 and later part 2 and then Fringe. HAHAS. 4.5 hours in front of the tv nia. Plus the microwave countdown for sausages before the fire starts with Agnes and Catherine HAHHAHAA!

Then in the room there's Juni Geraldine Natalie Catherine, bathed and joined them for Monopoly Deal and then talked. From 12 to 4am I think, then kinda fell asleep and woke up on and on. LOL. My first chalet stayover is so imba right.

Breakfast was Nutella and white bread plus very lame Okto. And meeting for Open House/CCA Booth stuff. Decided to Teenage Dream :D Backup plan would be Don't Stop Believing.

Bused home with Catherine and walked home with blisters. Unpacked? Showered I guess, and lunch? No I think I dint have lunch. Cause it's my lucky day of the month (you get it?). And slept? Argh can't remember much, and at night supposed to research on the video of the Glee's version of Teenage Dream but in the end Catherine sent me some other links to look at so I kinda digressed and ... LOL.

Wednesday and Thursday(yesterday) were choir practices from 9am to 3pm (yesterday was 8am to learn all the dance steps early as exco) on Teenage Dream plus dance steps. And Charles joined choir. Oh man I think I'm turning into a mean girl because of him ;/ Mr Poon was funny as usual, kena suaned o.O I'm called a Mother Hen and Ris Low in disguise on the respective days =.=
Yesterday Mr Poon dressed 'like he's going Hawaii' according to Juni :D :D
Oh and we decided yesterday to do Just the Way You Are and Niji as well on Open House? Or is it other events? LOL. And nice icecream sticks with alphbet pasta for CCA booth :D

TODAY. Piano? Sleep. Facebook. And Mother stayed at home today.
And. Learnt that Cat isnt joining me next year as JC2 ):):):
I cried when I heard that okay. And I wondered how on earth she can feel okay when I'm like so sad): Sigh.

And I'm supposed to start on Maths tuition homework today :( It's a shitty friday even if it's not the thirteenth ):
Going for church choir later!

2010-12-01T16:00:00.000+08:00

Ohkay I just went into Restaurant City and IT'S FINALLY OKAY. Woohoo, love the new Christmas theme.
And a new link to my links. 'Things We Forget'. It's inspiring (:

Braindeaddddddddddddddddd.

2010-12-01T14:35:00.002+08:00

Crap I've FBed the whole day, knowing that I've got better stuffs to do walao. I feel very braindead now. Isabelle just got home from her church camp. And she's sleeping on my bed lol. With my laptop in sleep mode, lol everything's sleeping together LOL.

Digress: Just watched Taylor Swift's Mine on my blog in a new tab and felt rejuvenated. She can really be a hot mum in the future :D :D

Anyways. Monday was, choir. Was late. Walking slowly towards the school cause 1. My shoelaces came off, 2. I dint bring a bag and carried all my things on hand. Then later I think I was walking towards the school main gate at the stairs of some HDB beside school when I saw Mr Poon with another guy standing beside him and I was like OMG and started running and runnning and pausing and running again towards Brahms room LOL. (Digress, KIMCHI NOODLES LUNCH, now drinking leftover soupp woohoo)
Later on I learnt that the guy was Taqquiddin and they saw me alr at the stairs LOL LOL LOL.

Choir was fun. No fine although I was late :P SYF piece arrived, called The Dawn Wind by Sandra Milliken. OMG that piece was like gay shit seriously. It was expectedly suaned by Mr Poon so badly. He endowed a new name upon it called 'The Morning Fart' HAHAHHAA!

After that, went to Subway to eat and discuss timetable of camp. Tired daooooo.

Yesterday was even more epic. 2 min late nia sigh. Choir is :D . I went back to sing alto for Morning Star. ;/ And then... erm, yeah after that was camwhoring at Northpoint's Pastamania. Although I dint eat anything but I got free food LOL LOL. Eh it's not that I fake my stomach problems okay, I seriously dont feel like eating after long queue and kinda 'half-pangsehed'. After that travelled to Pasir Ris to Danielle's home to put bags and travel to Aloha Loyang Resorts. Stayed there to plan nightwalk LOL and other stuffs, I hope I'll be the one scaring people instead of people scaring me, but of course I think I'm very bad at that =.=
After that walked back Downtown East and realised that we walked one big round to Aloha when we can actually cut through Coasta Sands Resorts and pass by Escape Theme Park. Had dinner there when it's raining heavily and then saw some people (govt-related?) wearing indonesian costumes. Someone saw some people wearing kimono? Then bused back to Danielle's and then bused back Northpoint, on the way played lame games with Cat and saw Shamini and her boyfriend again. And then walked home. SHAG.

Oh I suddenly remembered. Mr Poon just took one consent form and invited himself to the BBQ LOL. The consent form was also funny, behind was the directions to Aloha Loyang like 94m to bus and 716m to resorts. This was how Mr Poon wanted to get to the chalet and how eventually he's part of BBQ.

Ms Neo chucked all the scores, including 'Tomorrow will it be cloudy or clear?' into big stacks in the cupboard and did spring cleaning for the storeroom o.o But she gave us a tin of biscuits/cookies :D

Today! Watched Glee 2 ep.8 . HAHAHA! Totally LOL. It's like the wedding episode! And played FB as mentioned and this: http://www.fox.com/glee/glee-n-a/

I wanna do homework seriously. And watch dramas. But I dont know why I cant find the motivation, even brought newspapers to choir on monday LOL. Sigh~~~
Maybe doing tonight. Okay bye!

Regina Spektor- The Call

2010-11-28T21:41:00.001+08:00

I just watched Prince Caspian from Narnia Chornicles and ohahmgee I had the correct intuition that it's Regina Spektor! :D

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and now one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

It's choir tmr WOOHOO! Hope that it'll turn out good :)

P.S I haven't watched Pasta ever since it expired. I want the DVD so badly, I want CHEF!!!! (You can see my desperation from the number of exclamation marks I've used)

New blogsong! :D

2010-11-28T16:44:00.001+08:00

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a goner
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls

Found on FB where my classmate posted it :D
Adapted from the poem of The Lady of Shalott. It's quite lengthy, but it's quite :D

2010-11-28T15:57:00.003+08:00

I'm so emotionally drained this week, and damn irritated today.

Last Sunday was the gospel rally and it's damn fun. First time exploring the indoor stadium though, haha sua gu. Stephen Tong is really a good speaker. Took notes, want to buy his CD so that I can listen to what I've missed in between when I was busy copying what he said ):
But before that, was late while meeting the church girls, cause I overslept :P
And before that, a talk with Xiaoyan Laoshi for the both of us. I learnt that marriage is a personal covenant with God, you shouldn't compare your own marriage with other's. And we should pray for each other no matter what, no matter what the future holds for us.

I think it's just normal and boring school stuff throughout the week.
But some facebook stuff happened. Some people can be just so fricken boliao to seek entertainment by making fun of us, DAMN IT. Thank God for Rong Yang who enlightened me, and Isabelle contributing to 128 comments on my status LOL.

Oh, met up with Brande on Thursday :D Miss her though, accompanied her to study the forever so cheem bio :P
Friday was END OF SCHOOL, but got the ever so disgusting holiday homework, using my prepared money to pay Ying Yng back for my math notes. ): GP is really gay shit, trust me. Oh and went to eat mee hun kuay and sat on the "electronic chair" with Catherine, hahas fun experience but keep feeling sleepy though. And after that at night, church choir.

Yesterday was vectors and integration and piano. LOL I miss this easy part of vectors though, but looking at the summary just freaks me out. Piano was fun , I dint practise enough and teacher helped me to practise on the spot :S

Today was like. Sleepy in the morning, and so when I got out of the house and felt the heat of the awesome weather, I came back and flipped through Isabelle's CLEO and drifted to a fricken short nap. And after that had my daily devotion, never write finish but just chiong out of the house with my dad to catch the bus to church, left Isabelle with the comp. She should be twittering LOL.

Service was good. Zijian's friend came, called Joanne Chia and yay both of us are the Chia people yoyoyo.

AND THEN AFTER THAT, we talked. And BLOODY HELL he has this bloody habit of misunderstanding people. Like making assumptions without proof. AND SHIT DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT EVERY FB STATUS I POST IS RELATED TO YOU!? WTF? AND WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO POST SOME STATUS AS A TRAP FOR RONG YANG TO COMMENT ON LIKE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

Seriously, although the talk ended okay, I don't actually feel okay. I'm starting to doubt. And that's a sad thing ):

Finally, a quote from Mr White when he's teaching us Lit in Sec 2:

Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME.

Please get your facts right first, MY FRIEND.

Please don't stalk me on FB anymore, I pray for this. JUST GET OVER ME. And I dont know why you got angry. I should be more angry than you since I'm not part of anything, of their mocking or as a reciprocal to your feelings. And you dint trust me AT ALL. Until now, YOU HAVE DOUBTED ME TWICE.

I even contemplated closing my FB or even worse, leaving this church. Thinking back, I'm just plain stupid.

2010-11-18T00:31:00.002+08:00

I GOT PROMOTED, without supp papers.
Yesterday, or rather Tues was like overwhelming lectures. Esp Audrey Kwok's, WOW. =.=
Today, or rather yesterday was adventurous. Megamind was nice. We got new school bags. And arguments? Like NOW.

Why cant people just argue and at the end, hug each other and say "Thank you for enlightening me, I'll treat you/this matter better in the future" and smile.
Crap. I feel that my family is sometimes like crap. Sigh.

Anyways supposed to do some homework but dint. Doing the CCIS (Celebrate Christmas in Singapore) drawing now. It's gonna be a tough ride tmr huh.

Taylor Swift - Mine

2010-11-14T20:40:00.000+08:00

AWESOME :D

Ohh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ohh, oh, oh, oh, oh

You were in college working part time waiting tables
Left a small town, never looked back
I was the flight risk with the fear of fallin'
Wonderin' why we bothered with love if it never lasts

I say "Can you believe it?"
As we're lying on the couch
The moment I can see it
Yes, yes I can see it now

Do you remember we were sittin' there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Flash forward and we're taking on the world together
And there's a drawer of my things at your place
You learned my secrets and you figure out why I'm bothered
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

But we've got bills to pay
We got nothing figured out
When it was hard to take yes, yes
This is what I thought about

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Do you remember all the city lights on the water
You saw me start to believe for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Woah oh ohh

And I remember that fight 2:30 AM
Cause everything was slippin' right out of our hands
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye
Cause that's all I've ever known
And you took me by surprise
You said "I'll never leave you alone"

You said
"I remember how we felt sittin' by the water
And every time I look at you it's like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter
She is the best thing that's ever been mine"

Oh oh
Make it last
Hold on
Never turn back

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Woah oh

Yeah, yeah... Do you believe it?

Woah oh
We're gonna make it now.
Woah oh
And I can see it yeah, yeah
And I can see it now, See it now, See it now

I told him today. I told him that we can only be friends, plus reasons why. And emotions translated themselves into tears, uncontrollably. Yeah. But I guess we parted in an okay state. Tears are just an answer, or rather an echo to my guiltiness of hurting my good friend in church.

I figured out that people fell for others because they do not fully know the opposite party, and that's pretty much what happened between us. No not for me, but him.

I think (random, digress) that daily devotion is a good thing. It makes me feel rejuvenated. :D
And yeah, I just printed out the CCIS artist form. YAY it's drawing time :D
And... (digress back) I don't like misunderstandings, really don't like being doubted. =.=
And (DIGRESS) tuition and piano on Sat were quite CUI LOL. Forgot to bring GC. Never practise piano. And there's TUITION HOMEWORK, wth?

Sat was also Deepavali gathering at Loshene's house but I dint go ):
Keep forgetting to reply her on FB and her SMSes, said sorry ): ):
Instead we went bowling. At OCC. Damn fun. The bee hoon goreng there is awesome. 2nd time eating :D

Friday was like lessons, Maths damn CUI cause Mr Leong told me to go up to point on the screen where the similar trianlges are. And I kinda forgot how I got it when I get there, so I just 'I dont know' and laughed. And the others including 111 people laughed, SACARSTICALLY. Walao and I gave them this DEATH STARE LOL. Chem was the very cheem practical, and shit that reminded me that I have to do homework.

Econs was practically the funniest ever. Dint see Ms Wong so happy in my life for an entire lesson before. Joking throughout, and first time felt like she's actually someone's that's nice to chat with. LOL, just that she has a hot temper and she's spontaneous and speaks her mind. SHE PLAYS COMPUTER GAMES IN THE COLD STAFF ROOM, and said Ms Ong was lame was she asks her how's our class. WALAO. Good lor =.=
She feels like Sue Sylvester HAHAHAA! :P

And went back church choir (:

AND AND AND. PROMO RESULTS TOMORROW.
Praise the Lord for like FINALLY? Or pray to God because I might/half-confirmed that I will get a parents' letter for supp paper?

Scream for joy?

2010-11-11T22:37:00.002+08:00

FREEDOM. Now I pray for a C, because: 1. I don't think I'll get an A. 2. C
is like the worst grade. 3. If I get a better grade, I can SCREAM AMEN or if
it's really a C, thank God, it's not U :D

This is what I typed in FB.
AND YEAH. I stumbled, wtb. But Q&A was awesome. Because we dint practise because some awesome group FORGOT to sit in for Huiling's group, where they had 5 assessors. So XH XH AND JH went off to sit in on behalf of them. A lot of people were angry, and so was I. We thought we had 5 assessors as well, but thank God Mdm Jennifer Leow/Liao/?? and another 2 went into the next room.

And when it was our turn to present, there were some technical difficulties because some damn cables were spoilt. But thank God He listened to my prayer and the technician made everything fine again. We delayed by a good 20 min. Ended at 1pm, just nice. Break. Then sit in for the AWESOME GROUP. After that break before filing, people from the AWESOME GROUP CAME TO SAY SORRY. Like they mean it like that. =.=

Filing. Was another shitty thing, but the process was fun, and LIBERATING? But kinda unsettled. LOL. Before actual filing was the shitty response that I get from my dear group leader that we need a cover page for I&R WHEN ACTUALLY WE DONT. And so I went to print my cover page and they said that the GPF was upstairs. Bloody hell, and when I went upstairs the door was locked, so I thought that the file was submitted. So I emo-ed (cont. from the discussion from the AWESOME GROUP) with Catherine at the dark place near the canteen. Mr Ng passed by and Cat said hi. He asked why we are sitting at such a dark place and Cat said something, but somehow I blurted out Halloween and both of them laughed HAHAHA. So after that Cat went to file hers and I kinda slept and woke up and tranced and my dear group leader called. So actually the file wasnt submitted, and asked me to go K3-02. So I went up with a bad mood face and told them I just woke up.

Finished filing and Cat was waiting, went back with her, but before that talked in Macs at Chong Pang. And found out that she's the type of person who laughs while watching horror movies. Cant believe she started watching at 4. Omg, I wonder what I was doing at that time.

Sorted out my thoughts with Cat, and yeah what's done is done. OP die then die. C is like. The threshold, the capacity, and the room to improve for me :D
Okay back to playing games. Or can I reiterate that perfect word for the day,

FREEDOM/LIBERATION.
No more effing PW. Now onwards it's lessons. Supp paper here I come? But I dont feel like studying ):

2010-11-09T18:52:00.000+08:00

The 3rd episode of Glee Season 2, is a bit disturbing. Okay I know that you dont produce religious dramas on Fox, but if you can just respect the religion and dont make Jesus = Grilled Cheesus, for goodness sake. A sandwich does not equal to our Almighty God, and er, He's not a genie either.

And yeah, most of the songs are erm. Losing faith? Walao.

Okay I'm going back for the 4th ep.

Katy Perry - Firework

2010-11-09T17:15:00.000+08:00

Awesome vid I found out a few days ago cause Isabelle was listening to it. And she left yesterday for her class chalet. Okay bye, devotion later. Apologies to God ):

2010-11-09T16:19:00.002+08:00

I would like to refer to the WHAT THE FUCK post below because something similar happened just a minute away, AND THOSE TWO FUCKING WEBSTIES ARE LIKE THERE ON THE MCAFEE SCAN. Now Norton is scanning. Oh Lord.

Okay I tell you what happened these days. Thursday was school. Friday was movie outing/shopping/eating with Weihao and he told me that "it's an open secret that I'm courting you', I was like wth. Yeah, although he gave me this gigantic rose and I should have sensed that earlier that he has feelings for me but the fact that when he told me, the actual realisation then starts. And he bought a schedule diary for me and I bought him this pill pill thing. He bought me dinner, ice cream and the movie tickets for Due Date, it was a fucking funny movie.

So Saturday was slack day, bought a pair of shoes in Chong Pang but we retrieved it on Sunday lol. Yeah and when we were heading towards the bus stop to go Sun Plaza WH kinda cycled to where we're standing, the traffic light. I kinda said hi and again in my SMS cause the traffic light went green and we pathed different ways. Got devotional materials from Mount Zion, awesome shop. Had a thought that I should just spend my allowance here, rather then Artbox or anything else. Supposed to go bowling for sis but then the bowling alley was full, so we decided to go next Saturday.

On Sunday I decided that I should pay WH 10 bucks back. But he rejected, although I told him not to in my sms on Sat? Or was it on Fri? Whatever. And then it was Ai Yan and then we were eating together and his mother kinda delivered food to me, and added ingredients. And he said that actually those acts were kinda for testing me, because I am a "money-sucker" in her eyes, as quoted from WH. I was like WTF. I live in a bloody condo and which part of me is a MONEY SUCKER. Damn, I sms-ed Pei En the whole thing and during make-up tuition at Orchard she told me that she supports my idea of telling him straight in the face that I don't like him, because there is a high possibility that he was lying.

Idk maybe there's some misunderstanding but I told her that his character will change for the better given that he goes to church, ... and I started devotion on a new chinese book on Sunday from Mount Zion.

Yesterday chionged I&R last minute until 1235 this morning, cause it's overdue. Supposed to email on Sunday. LOL. I thought that I cant think of new ideas, but in the end it only took me about an hour? Cause I was watching Fringe at the same time as well, and Fringe is cool (:

Today is school again. And cool we ended at 1230, Chem was fun. Went back home with Oreo Chocolate sipping and a Chicken Potato and Posh brownie in my stomach. And cool I left my keys at home and Grandma went strolling so I was locked outside the house for half an hour sleeping. And then I got here, FB-ed. And hotmail, sent OP slides, and should I go CCIS? Cause WH asked me.

And THAT. That fucking shit. Thank God Norton dint record the fucking websites. I cried harder this time. I was able to actually ignore clicking, but in the end I clicked anyway. WHAT THE FUCK. SERIOUSLY.

My devotional material says that I can be a better myself. And I'm trying so hard. And yet this kind of FUCKING shit happened. Oh Lord. Oh God, I'm so sorry, really. Shit, this time I really improved. I actually had the chance to look away and ponder. But yet. What the fuck, oh man. I'm not being dramatic here, but it's just like failing an exam by getting 49/100. That one mark, that slight difference, is actually, fate-deciding. THE FUCK I'VE DONE.

Oh my Lord. I'm coming back to you. I guess I should just dig my eyes out for my own sake. Right.

By the way, HP7 I wanna watch. Tom Yam instant noodles is love. OP rehearsals tmr. Bye.

Life,

2010-11-03T23:21:00.002+08:00

Reinoryokusha Odagiri Kyoko no Uso.
Glee Season 2.
Ohhhh Peeeee. Like Oral Presentation.
Isabelle got flyer-sorting job.
Lessons.
And today Perth! =.= I wish I can go, but... Supp paper?

Okay that's all.

ハンサム★スーツ Handsome Suits

2010-10-30T00:24:00.000+08:00

AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEE. Okay I cant believe I'm still up watching a monster movie called Deep Rising =.=
Goodnight (:

2010-10-29T21:33:00.002+08:00

Did I mention that I watched Handsome Suit with CK in school library yesterday,

AND IT WAS LIKE THE FUNNIEST AND TOUCHING AND NICE AND AWESOME AND MARVELOUS AND FANTASTIC AND ... omg it's just :D

And Shosuke Tanihara's wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too cute and sunny in the movie. :D :D

Okay I sounded like a crazy fangirl of his. But it's true! And CK enjoyed the movie too (:

Today I managed to rush my I&R within short period of time, given that I thought of two ideas in the morning. One was when I woke up and the other in the wet quadrangle. HAHA.

OP was like, wth I got no audience awareness meh? And another thing was that I was too serious. The funny thing was CK was smiling a lot for nothing before me, so I guess the contrast between me and her would be absolutely ridiculously funny :D

Okay, and one more thing, my fucking curiosity to watch part of Dead Silence (before that was like 'Coming Soon' a few days back') KILLED ME.

But thank God, I prayed to Him in my bathe time just now, feeling better. Sigh.

Handsome Suit is just amazing. Especially the other guy (who was real, and Shosuke's supposed to be the fake) acted in Shibatora, both of them are just funny and interesting, and CK said she also want love. AHHHHH, yeap I like the story (:

2010-10-27T23:27:00.002+08:00

I actually forgot to mention that I handed in the WR today, yay!

And did I mention that I found out that Miss Ong lives in Euphony Gardens 3 weeks ago!? LOL.

And. I downloaded Handsome Suit in Funshion, watching it tmr?

And another thing, I can't wait for OP to be over and check to see whether I promote ):

I know that I dint work hard...

VEE-DEE-OHS

2010-10-27T20:23:00.002+08:00

Spot Shosuke and Nao! :D

Tenshi no Koi!

And this is the "main theme" which I'm not sure whether it's even played or not when I watched for the second time in school today =.=

And finally I bumped into this just now. ^^

OMG this is video madness. Okay. Now back to Shosuke and Nao~ :D

2010-10-27T15:25:00.002+08:00

I can't reiterate how much I hate horror movies. Thanks to my curiosity in school today, I think I can't sleep tonight. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Thanks to my's friend's Starhub modem, I can surf the Net in school now WOOHOO.

And I watched Tenshi no Koi again in school library, who knew that a miracle can happen like able to watch Funshion in school when the movie is already downloaded even when there's no network? :D

Now I wanna download something HEHEHE.

Shosuke Tanihara,

2010-10-26T23:43:00.003+08:00

is that HAWT guy who acted in Tenshi no Koi, and guess what.

He acted as Doumyouji Tsukasa, together with Naohito Fujiki (he as Hanazawa Rui) in Hana Yori Dango (1995)!

He is just 11 days older than Nao! Oh. My. G.

Suzuka Ohga is the same age as me, the girl in Shibatora O>O

And a new to-watch list: Hawt guy's dramas. And movies,

especially Reinoryokusha Odagiri Kyoko no Uso, and Baby! Baby! Baby!

Okay goodnight, supposedly I can go back home the earliest today, but due to PW...

And I lost my entry proof, had to spend $5 to print it again. Dang. 25 already for printing WR, and now...

2010-10-25T00:03:00.006+08:00

I think I would bathe tomorrow morning, can you believe it.

Can I do this for the last time,

FUCK YOU PW, SERIOUSLY.

Meanwhile, the melody of Pasta stuck into my head. And I got to reaffirm today from Tenshi no Koi that I have a soft spot for E flat major melodies. One of it's soundtrack, Chopin's Nocturne Op 9-2, Niji, etc. (:

My gosh I wanna skip school tomorrow. And watch Pasta and rewatch the movie. ;/

Shit la, zzz. Can't wait for OP to be over, with the the intensive lessons, DAMN, right.

Oh well. Lord, I can't stand this, URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Okay bye.

2010-10-24T23:05:00.002+08:00

What the f is PW doing to me, seriously. Never felt so tense before. Thanks ar, you animal.

Anyways, watched Tenshi no Koi aka My Rainy Days, half with Weihao and the other half on Funsion, = half in English-subbed, the other in Chinese. Freaking touching, I like (:

Love their love scenes. The kiss, the tears. (:

Especially the kiss and that's very exciting haha. The girl is pretty, the guy, although older, but still HAWT.

... (doing WR)

... Pasta is still ^^

okay. bye.

Pastaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,

2010-10-23T23:42:00.002+08:00

I can't reiterate anymore, I LOVE/AM ADDICTED TO THIS KOREAN DRAMA,

and Chef's smile/face, just too, HAWT :D

And the girl too, she starts to like him le leh!

I cant believe I'm swooning again. I feel so full of life now LOL.

And. Woah, I failed my sightreading by one mark. Dang. But I'm gonna buy grade 8 pieces next week woohoo :D

Hmmm, what else. I need to scan my picture and send tomorrow. And. I want a new pair of slippers. Today's torrential rain proved that my slippers can really make me slip, but I dint fall though. Lucky me. Thank God (:

It's bible study tomorrow. And I have to call tuition centres for make-ups. YAY no tuition for two weeks ^^

Okay, one more time, HE'S SO DAMN HANDSOME :D

okay bye. I want Personal Preference too );

The haze is making me dizzy.

2010-10-22T21:50:00.002+08:00

Did I mention that I watched Shibatora SP 2 when promos are over? Did I mention that yesterday I watched the freaking moving Cyborg Girl? BOTH MOVIES ARE SO DAMN AWESOME.

Recently, dunno when, my house installed the mio TV thing, and they have free dramas and movies for a limited time, and my whole family except my father and now my grandmother is watching Pasta. I like Lee Sun Gyun even though it's just episode 6 and the main characters haven't muakmuak yet. I like his fierce temper and his smile-without-teeth :D And the main character, Gong Hyo Jin, I just find her damn familiar but none of the dramas she acted in are those that I've came across. Weird huh, but she has that very, very familiar face. Hmmm. Anyways, waiting for mum and sis to come back so we can chiong the drama together.

Today was PW intensive, and to me it was WR intensive. LOL in school the lessons quite slack but I have to do my editing cause I slacked yesterday. Had to ask my mother/sis to help me scan my diagram I chionged this morning as well, but have to wait for them to come back. Oh, and today the speaker Thaddeus Lawrence was awesome, funny and very interesting and lively skydiving speech delivered! And the survey for learning stuff... Hmmm, guess that the school is helping choir afterall.

Okay I shall have my dinner now, lol look at the time. Okay bye (:

2010-10-21T16:17:00.002+08:00

Have I ever mentioned that PROMOS IS OVER? And Geog was like the best paper I've ever done besides not finishing my 16 m essay...
Have I ever mentioned that, today was supposed to be the Hip and Happening Day.

AND FENCING AND KICKBOXING WAS AWESOME, BOTH'S COACHES WERE FUNNY :D

And, the fencing Singaporean coach (the other fencing coaches were Russians. One funny, or rather the two male funny the female one serious-faced), the Singaporean guy, I think he looks ALOT like Fern. And that time when I was there. I was shocked. And I think I keep staring and paying attention to his words. I dint felt anything. But now, I think I miss that coach, not Fern xD
I think I'm very superficial. Hahas, cause since that guy looks like Fern, and even the hairstyle was like 70% alike, just without the bangs. Therefore he's handsome, and I fall for handsome guys. And he's quite a sunny guy I guess. Can talk to kids like us :D

And I got hooked to Nothin' On You, I finally understood the lyrics. It's not like catching the trump card(s), but rather having the feature(s) that the targeted girl of the song has. And no wonder CK is hooked. Hahas. Shouldn't be singing that much of it if not I'll get sick of it real soon.

Fencing is so awesome. I love the Epee. And kickboxing, no joke but I think I can and am ready for any fight now, HAHAHA. Super high.~~

Oh oh, before Geog I was super duper freaked out. But after that very high. Cause the tutorial essay question came out and I was reading it! And even though I dint managed to touch mass movement at all, I anyhow whack also can get one of the photograph's mass movement correct. Lol ALL HAIL THE VISUAL LEARNER HAHAHAHA. And I do hope that other than my 16m essay question, the others were fine. If not what I said to Ms Tan after the PW meeting with MrsLN and during our own group's PW meeting will come true: She will have to prepare sedatives, if not a bowl for her to vomit blood.

After the promos was window shopping and eating with Janet. Prata sausage plus the er-not-so-okay lemon juice (or is it called lemon grass lemon o.O) and one pathetic sushi was all I can get.

Mac's started the monopoly game stick labels stuff again, so today I bought a fish fillet extra value meal. HAHAHA. Sigh.

Am I missing that coach or am I missing Fern. But one thing is for sure that I'm missing the looks, not the person. Since I don't know the person well anyway. Oh. And Weihao is back. Hahahas. Random har.

Oh well. This post is super random and the info structure was like messed up, just like the PW Written Report. Grah. Which I need to do today. Dang. The end of days where I go home and sleep properly? Or is it a start of these? Cause, from tomorrow onwards is the FRICKEN PW intensive days. Until 29 Oct nia. One week only meh? I guess not. Or maybe... Nah.

Can I reiterate again. FENCING AND KICKBOXING WAS AWESOME, except for kickboxing's ending where it becomes bored and some, including me, are sitting on the floor. I wanna learn one of them, preferably fencing. Okay bye, I think I go and... Watch online movie? Or PW. Maybe the first is good... Or maybe not. LOL.

But girl you're amazing, just the way you are.

2010-10-19T10:29:00.000+08:00

Bruno Mars is the new sex, yeah.

This time, I'm not gonna fail Miss Tan, my most fave teacher in YJ. Bye.
Let's do whatever it takes to make her smile.

Radiohead-Creep w/ Lyrics

2010-10-19T10:02:00.000+08:00

Okay so I finally heard this song. And it's pretty cool (:
And yes, it's Geog later and I'm still not studying, SHIT. Like, EFFING SHIT. Bye.

2010-10-18T13:39:00.002+08:00

Dang. Promos suck. Really. Especially Econs and Chem.

Whatever, after my sleep it's time to rock and roll for Geog. Nights.

Nice videos and songs (: the last two are like ck's recommendations for a very longggggggggg time. Hahas, and I thought all along that it was 'freaking bad' instead of...

Bruno Mars is awesome.

Heard him on 987, this song (:

That's how I got to know 'Angel' too :D

And let's have some Katy Perry,

Horny yeah, how about...

And a spoof :D

Okay I think I'll take a quick nap and maybe lunch later. Bye.

What the fuck.

2010-10-14T11:18:00.003+08:00

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
Shit I'm really crying now, Lord I'm really really sorry.
Why do I hear the voice of the Holy Spirit and yet ignore it.
LORD I'M SO SORRY.
I really really am now.

Fuck you serena you searched for porn again! Fuck you this time. You're supposed to study Chemistry. You're supposed to ace it, and yet you go search and in the end OUT OF YOUR FUCKING CURIOSITY YOU GO AND CLICK AND WATCH!? WHAT THE FUCK LA SERIOUSLY JUST GO AND DIE!

FUCK LA. Now regret for WHAT?! Deleting the history does not mean that you're anywhere cleaner in your heart. Just. Go and bang the wall and DIE. CRY FOR WHAT!

LORD I AM REALLY SORRY. REALLY. I don't know, I think if I were you I'll just send a lightning bolt and kill myself. I read the ODJ article yesterday and yet... WTF SERIOUSLY, what, the, fuck.

Akon - Angel (2010 New Single with Lyrics)

2010-10-13T14:24:00.000+08:00

Love this! Love Akon! ^^
yes I'm eating my lunch now and I'll study later. Au revoir!

2010-10-13T14:10:00.000+08:00

J'ai besoin de commencer à étudier dès maintenant. Adieu Facebook!
That's what I posted on Facebook, and I deleted Bejeweled Blitz from my apps, HAHAHAHA. Yeah, that's a good deed huh.
But you dint know, I wasted the whole morning on FB and dint study my Chem );
So now I'm gonna study, I wanna ACE MY CHEMISTRY!!!

Yesterday's Econs was like part b of Q1 essay, two sentences and TIME'S UP. What a nice birthday present =.=
But I finished everything else, with BIG AND MESSY HANDWRITING. Hahas, hope that it'll be okay.
Then after that, just want to chill at Macs with fish fillet burger and a macflurry, wanted to order that cinnamon thing but no money so had to cancel order, super embarrassing. Then Catherine came to find me to pass me a cute container with Ferreros and a nice card with my stupid hairstyle picture on it! xD And I thought that the triplet photo of me, her and Natalie looks something like Dim Sum Dollies, wonder why xD Then went home sleep, and on the computer it is like filled with birthday wishes on FB, woah. Thanks people (:

Hmmm, did I mention that I went Sakae on Saturday with my family? The noodles a bit okayokay la, but I think I shouldn't have drank oreo chocolate bbt on my way home if not I could have eaten more! I want to eat sushi again! And mum gave me a shirt-dress, Isabelle gave me stone-like chocolates! Love them!

Okayokay I guess I have to siam and eat my lunch and medicine and hope that my phlegm will quickly shoo, and that today I WILL CHIONG AT LEAST 3 CHAPTERS OF CHEMISTRY IF NOT I CAN BANG MY HEAD ON THE WALL ALREADY. Okay that's it I want to eat already. The Games Room is a nice place to study, studied there with Isabelle on Monday and IT WAS HILAROUS WITH HER SNAPPING UNGLAM SHOTS OF ME =.= and mum joined in at like 10 plus lol. Okay byebye.

Insensitivity;

2010-10-11T12:18:00.002+08:00

Yes. I almost fell back to the horny Serena. It nearly resurfaced when I heard about the ACJC tryst, and I even tried to search for the video and nearly clicked on some bloody disgusting stuff. I guess that boils down to me not reading enough of the Bible.

I'm sorry Lord. ):

I'll never, ever, ever do that again. And I'll read more of Your Word.

And after Facebook's Bejeweled the whole morning, I decided that from this minute onwards, after my lunch, my time will be devoted to my dear Economics. I say we focus on Market Structure o.o

By the way, Jinyue gave me a birthday card yesterday, THANKYOU (:

Okay. Turn off the computer, and repent and sin no more :D

Bye.

2010-10-08T22:08:00.002+08:00

Okay I know I am posting for the FOURTH time today,
BUT WOAH I SCORED A FREAKING A FOR MY CALCULUS MODULE 2 TEST 2.
WHICH MEANS, MY EXAMS END OFFICIALLY ON 19 SEPT.
WHICH MEANS, I GOT AN OVERALL C FOR H2 MATH (Y).
44/50 leh! Zai or not. I already find the paper quite okay, just lose 3 marks for one qn part i.

Super happy, I'm on the moon now. Or cloud nine. Or in Glee. Or like having 3 Apple Struders on an empty stomach which I did today. WOOTS.
Okay. I guess I should at least read a bit of Econs now. Ciao~

2010-10-08T12:47:00.004+08:00

Shit. Japanese stuff are just so irresistable, I mean their dramas movies sushi bleh.

I made a to-watch list, for after promos.

- Cyborg She

- Happy Flight

- Asami Usuda's Rambling Hearts (If I can find it somewhere... ;/)

- Ichi with Ayase Haruka

- Oppai Volleyball with Ayase Haruka

- Otomen drama

- Boys Este drama

- My Darling is a Foreigner

- Hana Yori Dango drama plus movie?

- Nao's dramas

- Personal Preference

- Calling Out Love (Hujiaodamingxing)

- Korean Dramas

- Japanese dramas

- WE GOT MARRIED, this is a must! Seohyun and Yong Hwa!!

- Ken Hirai

- Shibatora's Special 2

plus;

- going out with friends

- (window)-shopping

- rot at home however I want.

- LOSE WEIGHT, I am serious!

- etc.

A LOT LEH~! Woots. Provided it doesnt clash with choir stuff and PW. Sigh.

Gonna look forward to my birthday lunch or dinner, whenever it's gonna happen.

That movie's damn nice. I Give My First Love to You. Cry until I feel like sleeping now. A bit giddy.

Bleh. Off the computer and to the bed. After that it's Econs or Chem! Kthxbai :D

Ken Hirai - Boku wa Kimi ni Koi wo suru[eng sub]

2010-10-08T12:22:00.000+08:00

From the movie 'I Give My First Love to You', which will be showing in Singapore on 21st October.

The movie is as painfully beautiful and sad as this MV. Go watch! Highly recommended.

I wonder how many tissue paper I've used.

2010-10-08T09:45:00.003+08:00

MY THROAT IS HURTING LIKE SHIT!

And yay I'm starting the day with Facebook, Flickr, and (a) Japanese movie(s) that is going to show up in Singapore soon and the other one that I might watch would be Shibatora's Special 2! Wah they have 2 Special episodes o.o

Hope that I'll manage to start on Econs and Chem today (:

EZ Link card nightmare.

2010-10-07T21:04:00.003+08:00

Okay the story goes like this.

One fine morning a girl named Serena woke up with fever so she took her time slowly to pack her bag for the legendary Chem lesson on a study leave day. Whilst she did that, she found out that her EZ Link card was missing, she panicked and flipped almost every corner of the house, and walked slowly to school. Of course she was late. She can't concentrate fully in class in the last few minutes due to her gong-ness from her fever. After the lesson she 'explored' the library and GO for clues, but to no avail whether she left her card in school. She was quite sure that she retrieved the card from the library counter yesterday after chionging her EOM. So she confirmed that the card was in the house. She went home, flipped and pushed the bed, flipped the books and blah. To no avail. She dint eat lunch. She went to sleep with a heavy heart. Her mother came home at dunno what time and she told her about the tragedy. The mother was furious, and so was Serena. She continued to sleep. When she wake up she's still having fever. And somehow through flipping again, and continuous praying and her mother told her to check the laundry, and she did. And the card was in the school skirt.

Thank God, Amen, the End.
I'm not going to study today. Yay. But just for today.

2010-10-06T23:25:00.002+08:00

I love Mrs Lay Naing, because today I felt that she wasn't as slacky as I thought. For a very special reason that I cant tell you, here.

She really is a very dedicated teacher (:

Today, officially told C and CK that I SERIOUSLY DONT LIKE PEOPLE TO CALL ME SERENA CHIA. Damn equally insulting as you call me by my full name. Pissed in the morning but said sorry and talked.

Today is like the last day of school, and after tmr's chem lesson we're officially left to fend for ourselves or call teachers for consultation. Oh great.

Today I had fever. Rested and felt better.

What an adventurous day, goodnight (:

Oh-kaybye. Hiatus for sure.

2010-10-03T19:52:00.002+08:00

Did I mention that I finished Hotaru no Hikari like 2 or 3 weeks ago? Yeah I did. The series was awesome.

Did I mention that I'm getting very, and I mean VERY stressed for Promos. Darn you Promos.

Did I mention that Promos is being shifted to on the very day of my birthday. Which is like one day back for everything. Except that I'm having Math the day after tomorrow. Shit.

So many things happened and some of the thoughts/ideas/events, I just imagined them materialized into real blog posts here, but in the end they weren't.

Mrs Lee Kuan Yew died yesterday ):

The survey for Health Program people was hilarious. I'm THE joker.

The stay back at night to study times, it was like 4 to 5 days. Shall continue tomorrow.

I wonder why I'm getting so addicted to Bejeweled Blitz. And I'm in needing of a drama marathon. I want to watch Personal Preference all over again. J dramas, Kpop. Recently I'm onto We Got Married, Seohyun and Yong something. Yeah. The guy is cute. Really.

"I think I need a sunrise."

"Why do birds fly ever so high?"

These are the most frequent sentences that I'll type on a shut-down computer whenever I'm bored in school in the past. ...Now they really reflect my mood. Shit.

I NEED MOTIVATION TO STUDY FOR PROMOS. IT'S LIKE, ONE WEEK.

Thank God at least I finished the whole Chemical Kinetics tutorial. Still have, 10 more I guess.

Geography is like o.o

Econs is like O.O there's timed assignment tomorrow and yet I am doing wr now.

Maths should be okay, but I want to aim for a C. That means I have to score A on Tuesday. Which to think of it it's kind of impossible if I don't finish my editing of wr quickly. And I mean REALLY QUICKLY. Which is yet another impossible task, because I'm here.

I'm getting better with the person I once hated to the core in class. But now maybe there's another person/people. Sigh, life is tough.

I upgraded to Grade 7 in piano, and I've been thinking whether I should become a piano teacher, so that maybe I can have more time for God. Chopin is my new hero. And Mozart always was.

There was communication session with pastor after church and made me realise that the church is growing and we're going to be adults in a few years time and play an important role in the church. Oh dear. This is how time flies, and compare that to one week to promos. Some people have theirs tomorrow. Sigh. And church is nice today. Sermon, and reading my past sermon notes. And talking to some people. :D

Piano is my new addiction. Yeah that shall explain my recent days in life. Oh-kaybye.

P.S Promos is just an overrated version of EOYs right? ... That should be comforting.

2010-09-18T12:35:00.002+08:00

Hi long time no see.

Yesterday was GP promo. Idk but it feels screwed. But I got hope in me cause I prayed to Jesus :D

Yeah. And I forgot to share, there's Hotaru no Hikari SEASON TWO! OMG lah.

I just finished the second last episode. I can't wait for the last episode to come out 0;

Yeah. Life is like screwed with ALOT of homework and I'm not doing them.

There's Econs case study, chem tutorials from atomic structure.

Project Work climaxed when we had a heated meeting on Thursday before chem,

it's going to continue tomorrow.

I fully understand CK's pov. But how about June's? Life's not fair in the first place. Sigh.

I prayed yesterday night, and I'll pray tonight too, that everything will turn out well tomorrow.

And I mean, WILL.

Oh well, Hotaru and Buchou finally kissed, omfg *-*

2010-09-06T23:33:00.002+08:00

Heys. Today, was, okay. And not okay too. But thank God He listened to my prayer, cause scales were okay. Smashed the B flat major arpeggio ):
Pieces were. Alright la. A1 is like, a bit shitty. Guess that it's not really that wise to start with pieces first. But, anyways.

Isabelle said that she will fail. I hope not.

Yesterday's sermon was like the BEST reminder to all Christians. I think I should start a proper relationship with God (:
I fell asleep during Bible study lol, and today morning was the only practice I have from Sat's lesson, shall NEVER PRACTISE ON SAT MORNINGS. Will make piano a daily routine (:
Spent 7.70 today, 2 on sucky takoyaki and 5.70 on the very delicious yoghurt :D
Oh yeah, 20.30 for sight reading book, no use for today lol.

Hmmms, what else. Thanks for all the best wishes on FB for my piano exam. :D
Had stomachache that felt like (invisible) tight jeans on your right waist. Finished EOM today :D
I guess tomorrow onwards would be chionging chem tutorials like MAD.

Er, and also played well on Weihao's laptop yesterday HAHAHA.
By the way. BGR? No way.

2010-09-04T12:31:00.002+08:00

Hi. Long time no see. So much has passed. Choir ended, sadded. My piano exam is coming, worried.

So much homework to chiong, so many tests that I may flunk.

Oh yeah, yesterday's the last chuxinban lesson.

I think I really, REALLY need to read the handouts again.

And should I join the baptism class? Yeah I think... I should. I think I'm worrying too much.

Hols is next week, but I dont really feel anything.

I feel quite empty without choir. LOL. I love YJChorale. Serious. (:

PW is getting better. Thank you Lord.

Piano practice is NOT ENOUGH. I'm going back for lunch and piano again.

I feel awesome that I actually ponned Jogathon (early leave) for Mrs Janice Lim. :D

That's what's interesting in Serena's life that has passed. So far.

More to come (:

2010-08-22T23:15:00.003+08:00

I think, that today was an awesome day. Except for the part that I'm not doing my Econs homework.
PW meeting was great, my idea that I thought of today was accepted. Cool.
I kept my cool, everyone was cool. Nice.

Today's sermon was, reminding me of alot of stuff. It made Zijian cry I think.
I think that, he'll be a nice guy to catch (:
Not for me though. I don't believe in marriages, yet.
I think I will have to start reading my ODJ, and Sunday School textbook. And my chuxinban notes.
I need to catch up with God. Or, no, I should start to follow God, officially.
Thank God, for His Grace that I'm wanting to do this, Amen.

Nights. I think I should delete CBOX, weird advertisments are coming in.

Bejeweled Blitz...

2010-08-21T23:47:00.001+08:00

is the main frustration-venting channel these few days.
I sms-ed Pei En alot of times, how PW is eff-ed.
I'm feeling super angry nowadays for no f-ing reason, friday ChuXinBan made me okay, but then back at home when I think about the f-ing matters about people's tone's and attitudes towards me or their work or PW, it really f me up. Like really, I feel like screaming.

I want to go to a beach with clean white sand and a very very blue beach with clean waters.
I want grassy plains for me to lie on to watch clouds passing in clear skies on a sunny afternoon.
I want to escape from the mess that I'm in, that most of it was created by me.
...

Anyway, good news. I passed my Econs CA for the first time! 16/25 (:
Chem gaseous state 15/30 :D
Calculus 34/50 :D

Okay maybe that's all. Bye.

2010-08-20T19:20:00.000+08:00

I AM OFFICIALLY FUCKING PISSED WITH MY LIFE, MY SCHOOL LIFE.
MY PEE DOUBLE YOU, ESPECIALLY.

Today's a winding road, it's taking me to places that I didn't want to go.

2010-08-11T21:26:00.004+08:00

Walao I am STILL SICK. Oh great,

Last Friday was like College Day so we had songs and parade, I din't go for the exhibitions but I went for this talk by BG Tan, totally make me LOL, he's a funny and patriotic person.
Then was really not feeling well but anyway went to the library, finally knew how to use the photocopier, for the second time/third time in my life I guess. I first learnt in PHS. Well, finished 2 stories on Nightmares And Dreamscapes by Stephen King, he's quite good I admit (:
Then I went to SGPC to have a talk with Zheng Chuandao, shared everything about my spiritual growth in the churches I went, and I realised that I knew nothing for what impact God has done in my life. So, I went for the 初信班 instead of church choir. Sian I prefer Pastor Phua, but still Lu Chuandao is a nice guy, just that he digressed too much. Went back to home and talked with mum too. Sore throat sucks.

Saturday was tuition and piano, and wow yeah I found out on the day before that my piano exam is on 6 Sept. Yeah, and my scales plus arppegios SUCK TTM. Tuition was okay. But I was like very sick on that day too.

Sunday was, okay? Sunday school was overwhelming I need to really read up. Sermon was on... I forgot. =.= Yeap. And er, sharing was short. Played with Weihao's laptop before service, I like his computer speed. But he left his shoebag with me lol, he left too fast.

Oh sermon was on the'hosanna', 'cleaning up of the temple' and the withering of a fig tree which dint not bear fruit. And DWD.

Monday was National Day, I went to read the private group on FB, hahas naise. I love the messages on the wall, made me LOL big time. But now I think I realised that I shouldn't be so mean, maybe let it go. I'm kinda sian of making enemies in class for myself. Went out to meet Junhua to come up with funny ideas for PW. Sleep is the main highlight.

Tuesday, was like. Sleep late? Er. Surfing deviantart makes me happy and dreamy again, :D Changed my display picture and personal message on FB. Watch a few mins of a Japanese movie while folding clothes but then we have to eat lunch with mummie and get ready for The Last Airbender. Totally copy and paste from the cartoon la but super boring. Love the visual effects only, and oh Jackson Rathbone is Sokka, lol I only realised when the rolling credits is up. Went back home to sleep, chionged filing for Geog and Geog tutorials at around midnight.

TODAY was like.Yeah there's supposed to be YOG torch relay and supposedly it's NEAR MY HOUSE! But then anyways it rained and woohoo it was cancelled. :D
THE MAIN HIGHLIGHT WAS CHOIR, seriously kena suaned until cannot max anymore.

Yes I HAVE A LOT OF MUCUS AND A HABIT OF ADMIRING IT AFTER I DISCARDED IT FROM MY NOSE. So yeah, Mr Poon was like EEYER SO DISGUSTING STILL LOOK AT IT SOME MORE! HAHAHA, aiyah. Then before that was using toilet paper to HMGH my nose. He noticed lol. So Lynette passed me tissue paper and I, being innovative and far-sighted, took the dustbin into the grand piano room, LOL. HAHAHA. He also was like sitting away from me when I answered Catherine that tennis and my mucusful day were linked because the tennis ball and my fluids was of the same colour HAHAHA. Then when Miss Neo came in Mr Poon still shared with her my disgusting ways, HAHAHA LOL =.= :d

Nevermind, Catherine also tio my virus, I'm super guilty now. She can't sing today because of me 0: Hope she gets well soon, and well I'm feeling dizzy and sleepy today.
There's like Mock SPA tomorrow and Econs Essay Test on Friday, wtb. How?

I'm sick ):

2010-08-05T19:14:00.003+08:00

Yeah, first time in my life applied for early leave in school during GP, right after an overrated fire drill that happened during our Maths lesson. Hahas two boys are going to be punished for eating while we were assembling on the track. Some people took their plates of food along nia, walao. My classmates took pictures during the assemling, super LMAO.
Wow it rhymes.

Why am I sick? Cause I have a giddy head that translates people's voices into distant sounds. My sore throat worsened since yesterday during choir. I guess that's part of the reason why I said I don't want to join church choir anymore to my mum. My blocked nose started from yesterday night. I think the lozenge from the Yishun Central clinic deteriorated my condition, and I have to leave my mock SPA hanging. Sucks, to the max.

Went to Pacific Clinic, total of 42 bucks. Then Yu Pian Mi Fen. Then medicine, then sleep. Before sleep watched an extract from the Wo Yao Dang Shi Shen on Channel U and some other food prog. I saw this frozen food become delicacy thing. And the ingredients used are really authentic and naise. Naise = red wine, double layer pork belly. Yum. Did some practice on the piano, housework including cooking the rice, taking down the dried laundry. Etc. I am going to have my dinner soon, and after that choing my reflection log for market failure, show up for tomorrow's College Day plus a talk, and I think I'll go back home to sleep again.

Youtube is fun and Facebook gets boring after you deleted your most used apps.
Straight Through My Heart vid is really cool. And Sun Ho's Fancy Free is okay, reminds me of Gwen Stefani though, but her China Wine. I don't know. I "disliked" the video, she really looks like a whore there. And seriously. I really, really doubt her faith in God.

Okay going to dinner, and later homework. I think I'm going to clear my table tomorrow cause it's really messy. I might sleep early today. And have been thinking about my future. Should I aspire to go NAFA/La Selle? LOL.

2010-08-04T21:04:00.002+08:00

http://leilockheart.net/

Okay. Monday and Wednesday's choir was fun, two new girls, Lynette and Sarsha joined in. Lol today Lan Yuan also came. Hahas, I became Serena Williams. It's quite stressful to be/teach altos huh.

Monday's P.E. was fun, Tuesday stayed back in school until 6 plus with CK to revise her Math, Wednesday which is today, Chem test murdered me. Miss Ong actually photocopied our scripts and told us to mark our own, and I got 11/26, wtf. I also kena paint on my hands at the Bodhi Tree, please lah at least paste a notice somewhere, now it looks like I got internal bleeding from my fingernails.

There'sa long weekend coming up, but I don't feel any kick. Thank God, Miss Tan said today before choir that she can be approached for advice (:
And yeah, the choir board is under construction, the lizard incident was epic.
Kthxbai.

43 days to GP, cool?

This time, don't need another perfect lie.

2010-08-01T18:41:00.003+08:00

Today was the election of the Hallelujah Fellowship exco.

Seriously. It wasn't the real highlight of my day, it's what happened afterwards.
They prayed for each other. They prayed for me. So, thank you to
Cherissa
Su Ying , both of you prayed for me together (:
Ming Ting, you remembered all the lil details including me as a SL in school choir.
Jin Yue, thanks for still remembering my family problems.
Xinyi, sorry but Idk what you prayed for me, but still THANKS (:
Zi Xin, thanks (:
Zi Jian, thanks for the encouragement and sharing! I will really think it thru for confirmation.
Yi Hao
Lee Yang, both of you, thanks!
and before sermon begins, Xiao Yan laoshi, thanks for being concerned with my results.

I think that's all, if I never miss out anyone.
Thanks Wei Hao for... talking to me haha.

Yes it's really stupid to post all my thankyous here since they won't even get to see this. So I think I'm gonna post a FB prayer for ALL of the peeps in fellowship, I was too shy to pray for them.
Today's Ai Yan was nice. And I finally attended Sunday School. I know, there's alot to catchup/ketchup :D
KTHXBAI.

P.S. Secrets by One Republic is so damn awesome, the strings intro kept stuck in my head :D
And should I post pictures with my long texts? My blog looks like. Super worded.

Oh yeah the 4ooth post! :D

2010-07-31T18:56:00.002+08:00

One Republic - Secrets

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
'Til all my sleeves are stained red

From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve

And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don't really like my flow, no, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'm 'a tell you everything

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insinceres
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away, all my secrets away

A new blog video!
I dint went for tuition today cause I was late for a freaking 30 mins. Was supposed to reach there by 1.10, end up reach there by 1.40pm LOL. My mother saw me sitting outside after she dropped me and became furious and kinda told my off and I blah-ed back outside the tuition centre. On the brink of fears and tears.
Then went to Verve early so did my theory homework, dint sign up for theory exam. Then slept and mum bought me bbt after she went out after her violin lesson is over and came back. Then had early piano lesson from 3.45 to 5pm. Cool.

And I think I just made the right choice by deleting my Restaurant City and Sorority Life applications on Facebook, "all hail preparations for promos" as I've typed as my status.

During the argument. My mother said that I will not go to university. Sigh. I'm very worried.
Kthxbai.

Aftershock.

2010-07-31T12:11:00.003+08:00

Okay. I think I just woke up from my short nap after my sorority life after my packing of the writing table after getting angry because kena suaned by my mother after doraemon on channel 8 after my practising of piano. LOL.
No it's not awesome, the life I'm leading.

Can I tell you a secret? I am afriad of the dark at night. I thought there would be ghosts in my room every night before I sleep, or in the bathroom where there's already full of light.
Another one. I scold vulgarites these few days like how much I use toilet paper everyday.
Another one. I think I'm being backstabbed, one obviously by a fatass, but the others may be be due to some, may be due to some... Stupid behaviour displayed by me in school. WTH.
Another one, I think I PMS too much.
Another one, I actually want to be as skinny and pretty like models in mags but I said I don't want to in class.
Another one, I think I'm a badass. Yeah, due to alot of reasons. Idk how to list them.
Last one? I'm losing interest in everything in church. I think I'm distancing from God.

I think I should post funny stuffs here that happened on Wednesday, and Thursday, and yesterday's tiring yet okay PTD. Thank God my father really never flared up yesterday. God listened to my prayer (:

Wednesday, was like. Er. Idk I think I only remembered Mr Syn's dialogue with us during Economics lecture, something about showing us the patent that Viagra is losing and more of such products would come up in the market, "which is good news for us guys", LOL.
And a makeshift lab session with Miss Ong and she actually forgot that it's Sports Day. Someone asked her whether she's running HAHAHA.
Then Sports Day was like. Idk I was sleeping outside library doing my chem prac ws and sneak peeks at the boring opening of it. We are like LOCKED IN THE SCHOOL because we're supposed to be spectators. Then I only saw the nice nice cheerleading. Damn awesome Canberra cheer, Rodney's was like hurting THREE girls' back flat on the track because they fell from like what, 2 or 3 metres from how they're being lifted in the air. There is Peirce as the champion :D as I only know yesterday or Thursday because I left shortly after the cheerleading finished. Admiralty was... Okay? Seletar was funny bunny. Oh yeah SMS-ing with Pei En was awesome. I am glad to have a friend like her and being her friend, yeah really not mushy at all.

Thursday was alright?
Friday was yesterday's PTD and reached home at 10.40 pm. I can actually go back with my father after the long talk with Mr Leong, but then well I geh-kianged and tried to help out with the things as a welfare ambassador but actually everything's taken care off. Hahas, the refreshments corner, me and Xiaomei were like sneaking eclairs into our mouth, and dang I was so guilty when I ate and yet those China Chinese were like looking at me when we thought that the food was exclusively for the parents. Lol but in the end they still got their permission to eat lah.
Miss Ong actually changed into a floral print top for PTD haha (:
And walking around talking with XM Cat Raphael Raymond Jonathon was :D
Found out that I was kena sdfhksdfhw by a fatass by Raphael and hence he invited me to join the private AC group in FB. Hahas. Sigh.

I seriously think that, this fatass is such a f-king busterd. Arrogant piece of bullshit.
I know, I'm using vulgarites again. Yeah. So...
Whatever.

I need to practise my piano, look at the time now.
From today, its 47 days to GP paper. No sub paper. Cool. I should aim for a D. For compensating my S which is a 26 percentile for my block test, woolala.

2010-07-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

PEE-DOUBLE-YOU, it's wearing me out.

林達浪 & 寶茱姐.

2010-07-27T21:34:00.003+08:00

LOL. My mother and sister kinda finishing the series, as they started from last Sunday. It seems that they finished ep19 out of the total of 23 episodes.
Today's maths test was like. Okay? But I forgot that n must be an integer. Dang.

I think I need to do a mindmap on my Geography. Limestone and granite are like alien cryptics to me now, I cannot digest anything in lectures. Same for COP and Market Structures in Economics.

Did I mention that I got 30/40 and 9/12 consecutively for Economics Class Practices?
Those are really a big deal to me. And I am motivated enough. I will continue to pray to God to keep this burning thing burning in me haha. There's this lecture today in the hall by someone called Anthony Chin from NUS, and it's on Road-Pricing and I actually took notes and stayed very awake throughout the whole speech. Very cool. Really. He's funny.

Another thing is, I'm supposed to hand in my part of the PW research by 10pm tonight. And look at the time now. Procrastination is a bitch seriously. But Serena knows that she cannot blame anyone/anything else for her laziness and bullshit time-management.

Monday and tomorrow are days without Mr Poon. Monday was seriously, ):
I guess we need more practices. Really. And I don't know what to do with those people who are like, not spiritually with the choir or something. Sigh. I don't whether I should say I would leave this to God, cause everytime I say so, it never happens.

Plus. Tomorrow's Sports Meets. Sianism, I rather have choir than to have me sitting like some idiot looking at people dashig across the track and screaming aimlessly with them, and I can even use that time for like, typing my minutes out, get a good nap in my bed. Seriously this is not an efficient allocation of resources. SCHOOL FAILURE.

Parent-Teacher Dialogue is this Friday. How worrying.

Happy birthday Daddy.

2010-07-25T20:17:00.002+08:00

A 50-yr-old man is now living in our house, with a 41-yr-old wife and a 16-yr-ole me and my 14-yr-old sister. Yay? ;/

Yesterday was ZhuGeKaoYu dinner right after my piano, before that a GC-less tuition which went on still okay, differentiation was reminiscent :D

After that we caught The Sorcerer's Apprentice at Plaza Singapura, seriously awesome. I laughed throughout the whole movie, even when the enemy is going to be killed. LOL. NICE MOVIE :D

Another movie to my DVD-to-buy-list. Reached home at like 11. Dint bath and FB and slept at 12.

Today skipped that stupid community walk, too tired le. Planning to go sunday school, but I bathed too long after cuting Dad's Black Forest cake. So skipped that too. Sermon today, was on serving God, and I really catch no ball. There's only one part that I remember:

A Jewish Boy was flunking his Maths, despite his parents hiring home tuition teachers and other possible methods. A neighbour saw this, and told them to transfer the boy to a Catholic school, as he/she heard that there's good math teachers there. So the parents did so. The first day the boy transferred there, and when the boy went back home, he practised his Maths furiously like there's no tomorrow. The parents observed this in wonder. This went on for a few days until it the Maths test day. The boy went home, put a test paper on the dining table and went back to continue studying Maths. The parent were worried whether it's history replaying. They checked out the score, and whoohoo it's an A! So the parents were so happy yet puzzled, they went to ask the boy why he's still studying Maths despite acing his recent test. Shouldn't he play and relax after such a taxing burden resolved? Is it because of the teachers there? The nuns? The "easier questions" ? The boy answered no for all the questions posed by his parents. The parents were very very puzzled.

After that, the boy finally admitted: When I first went into the school, I saw a man on the cross. And I know that they're playing for real.

WALAO! Super funny lah. I laughed like shit, seriously. Yeah. Sharing after that was really digressing. But still, learnt alot.

Then there's the Monopoly Challenge. During the trial run was like idontknowhowtoplayatall. But in the real Round One, I actually won. And I also won Round Two, so in the end I won the new deck of cards as promised, woohoo :D

Seriously it's a really fun game yeah. Enjoyed myself today.

Yeah. I need to revise my Maths today too for the Tuesday Math test. So, yeah. Good luck Serena.

That reminds me, PTD is on Friday and am I supposed to show my Dad around when I'm like one of the Student Welfare Ambassadors? Okay that's really. Really cool. The meeting on last Monda was funny. But not when my Father finds out that I got SEUES (yay E for Chemistry in the end! ;D). Okay seriously not cool.

2010-07-23T19:06:00.002+08:00

A Math test on this coming Tues. Church choir in an hour. PW, Econs, Maths, Chem, Geog homework. Less than 2 months to promos. 2 weeks of breaks in school wasted.

It's not helping at all. So, God.

I need your help ):

I realised the need to study hard. Yeah. HAHA. What an irony.

2010-07-22T21:26:00.000+08:00

By the way,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENDA TAN :D

2010-07-22T21:08:00.002+08:00

Okay it's like 56 days to promos. No revision done at all.
Not only that, I haven't been doing my homework lately. This sucks.

The damn research for PW I've been doing from 4 till now, 9, is taking forever, intercepted by FB dinner bath teevee and FB. It's forever the bitch, FB.

Have I told you that I got Dr SEUSS for blocks? S for GP, E for Math, U for Econs, S for Chem, and S for Geog. Sucks.

Knowledge about God also haven't seeped into my brain and heart.
Piano plus theory is being forgotten.

I feel like, a forgotten person. Life is like waves, continuous flow of waves. You have to ride it with a boat to go on and on, to your destination. If not, you're just a particle flowing somewhere else. This feeling sucks to the max. I'm not kidding. I think I'm going nuts. Less than 2 months to promos and I'm still here blogging and FB. Walao. What's this.

Econs and Complex Numbers are overdue. I'm not paying attention in lectures. I'm using breaks in between classes to space out. Telling myself, or rather attempting to induce motivation in me, is rather ineffective. I'm too lazy to attempt anything. Even for choir. I can't even bloody open my mouth and ask someone to come in. What's the point of me in a JC that I don't work hard for my As? As in A for A levels, or maybe just Alevels. Can't even bloody work hard for promos, and I'm always dreaming of getting straight As for A levels. What's this shit?

I cannot decode life anymore.

I feel like typing "I need God", but do I pray to Him for help? Not exactly. I'm a lazy bum.
Maybe I should try telling myself "I can do it". It worked for me when I was doing my econs essay.

Blistering barnacles.

2010-07-20T19:34:00.002+08:00

Just ate my dinner, before that finished my part for econs photo essay.

I think I forgot to mention that we have universities setting up booths in our school on Friday, with the police/navy/air forces and NTUC First Campus. Naise. Kiasu Auntie Serena went to get a free and quite-fitting laptop case from SUTD, brochures and whatever info from Brightsparks NUS NTU SMU blahblah. It's eye-opening. Forgot to ask what's major and minor. A good pass = A or B ):

And yeah, yesterday's choir was like Catherine aka Spongebob VS Mr Poon aka Squidward. Totally laughed until my stomach ached. HAHAHA. Especially the high-class-no-class talk.
It goes something like this:

Mr Poon: -imitates ang moh accent-
Cat: Walao so disgusting.
Mr Poon: Why should I, a high class person speak to low class people like you?
Cat: Eh you say we low class you even no class la.
Mr Poon: -flew in a comical rage- YOU COME HERE!

Today supposed to do 2.4 but in the end never, did crunches and blahs instead.
I actually can forget to bring maths notes/exercises. My first stand-up today. Went kuku during the maths reflection period. Statistics ain't my cup of tea. I'm looking forward to Calculus :D
Today's clarification of case study with Ms Yip is good. The lecture/geog's are not really that nice.

I guess I'm gonna bathe and chiong my complex numbers and read up, and maybe do some of my chem tutorials. Bye.

Splitting headache.

2010-07-19T23:01:00.002+08:00

60 MORE DAYS TO PROMOS.

Fantastic, ain't it.
Let's see, thursday was the quarrel but got over on friday, cause some shitass haolianed about his econs by asking questions loudly. Scared that tuition teachers for every subject ain't enough eh? The thought of him promoting and me with my U in Econs and S for GP retaining, is just too infuriating that I just cried. Grahs. I'm really sick of crying and venting emotions in school, it's just so not normal. But what's normal about school anyway?

Saturday was CIP tuition piano and 717 concert. I woke up at around 4am, CIP was like people latecoming, zhaosia and murmuring of lyrics into the mike, games, miscommunication, laughter, gifts, talking. Fun. But yeah, got some point it's my fault like forgetting to bring metronome, kena scolding O: Sighs, thought that I'll dislike GP teachers. 717 concert was awesome, especially my dear Isabelle Chia who's the only one who went up stage without scores okay. Although got some mistakes, she's veryveryveryvery good :D Totally zonked out with slow/long songs behind. Ate the snacks, went home to sleep.

Sunday was like, Idk suddenly moodswing. Never go Sunday school. Service, sermon was awesome. Bible study after that was even more awesome, I learnt ALOT, REALLY ALOT OF THINGS. That it's only God's grace that determines whether you're saved or not, not by your behaviour. Your behaviour is only an indication of how's your spiritual growth coming along. And that DON'T TRY TO BE FUNNY WITH GOD, hahas. Yeah, alot of notes on the material. Pastor Phua is really, really, great.

Today's PE was awesome. Ball games. PW by some teacher called Mr Low was GOOOOOD, :D
Choir! THE BEST PART OF THE DAY. I'm Patrick the Starfish xD

Nights.

2010-07-15T18:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes. Bad mood = Attitude. Sometimes, it isn't.
Today's the second case. And I feel like I'm being wrong.
Or maybe I should have laughed with your joke. Then nothing will happen at all.
Today's so fucked up that I am so amazed that I am not able to cry at all.

I'm playing hide and seek with my emotions, with people.
I'm so gonna seek a consultation with God.

...41/100 for GP. 23/50 for essay, 18/50 for compre. The best is. I don't know whether that's an U or an S in A level standards. So regretful for not studying. Blah.

64 days to Promos. Bye. Sat's so boomz with CIP plus tuition plus piano lus 717 concert. I need to sleep and practise piano.

Shitass;

2010-07-14T21:28:00.002+08:00

23/25 for Geog.
39/80 for Chem.
Unknown Maths results.
Unknown Econs results.
Unknown GP results.

...

All I can say is that. I need to buck up.
I think I can only study by going to the Macs down the street near my house.
I need to clear homework too. These few days I have been just using the comp and sleeping right away. I need to at at least do the essay and tutorial today. I need to bathe. I need sleep. I am so reluctant to go for tmr morning's napfa training. Shit the health programme. Damn.

I need to memorise the lyrics of the songs for this sat's cip. This sat is going to be so damn effed packed. Today's choir was fun. Today's maths lesson is only 1 hr :D
Well. I think those are the only reasons to bring a smile on my face.
I suddenly thought of something. Mr Poon looks like a Chershire Cat with his grin 8D

Nights. Off to homework I guess. Before that, bathe.
I wanna go Prague. But its 3430, can go? I doubt so.

Praise the Lord!

2010-07-13T21:03:00.002+08:00

Yeap, I kinda have some confidence in my Math retest today, even if I told God that I don't mind getting a U. Yeap, I think I can kinda secure 32 out of 50 marks, but still not very sure of my methods and answers. Let God decide okay?

Meanwhile. I need money for choir fund which is $5, and the Prague trip($3000!?), plus LMS which is a freaking $20 and the... new Math notes. $7 is really cheap for the texts and the question bank, compared to last time's $12 plusplus.

.... I need to be more. Confident in warmups and sectionals ):
And needa bring my metronome tmr. For CIP thing. Oh yeah. I wonder if someone bought the ez-link card holders as gifts... Sigh. Everything's quite messed up these few days. Homework and overload of info. But choir on monday was hilarious. If only more people could join the fun ;/

I... need to do homework ):
Kthxbai.

2010-07-11T23:03:00.002+08:00

I'm constantly thinking that I've got a fucked up life. Today was as usual.
Just a much more blown-up argument between mum and sis. Yeah, always mum and sis.
My sister, in a fit of anger, called my mother a bitch.

Totally. I dont know. Struck with something. I was in her room using my laptop. And yeah, they went on and my mother threw the basketful of clothes into the room. And she went into our bedroom and slammed the door. I turned off the laptop and went for a walk. Without my keys. At 5.30pm, around there. I cried, I sorted out my thoughts. I think I did that for like one hour and I gathered my courage to press the doorbell. No one answered. I thought they were still angry. I walked. And I think I pressed the doorbell again, and no one answered. I went for a walk somemore and I look at the windows from downstairs. Can't see anything. Then walked and walked. I waited outside the door. Slept there. I pressed the doorbell again. NO ONE ANSWERED. So I took a walk at the swimming pool, stargazed, press doorbell because I saw the living room lights on while my sis room's also on, except for my mum's , walkwalk into games room,

and then went back, and I'm glad that Dad's home. It's 9.00pm. Mom's not at home. Sis is bathing. Bathed. Came out. ... Did my GP homework until now. Just now Dad asked me where is Mom cause her phone is off. Blahs, asked me what happened. Mum came back and I saw her sleeping on the sofa. I took her blanket her bolster and her covereyesthing and placed it near her. When I heard the door sounds and etc, I wanted to go and hug her and say I love you and glad that you're back. Something held me back. I cried in the blooddy toilet, thinking how nice someone gone had came back, I thought something really bad could happen to her. I kind of confront my father with "Do you believe in God?" when he actually have the fucking courage to attempt to say that this family would break up one day, while he spent like idk how many fucking hours in church, and haven't got a bloody clue that God is the provider, the saviour and He will solve our problems, including my foul mouth/mind/hands at the moment.

I don't know what will happen tommorrow. All I know is that I am glad that my family is safe, like physically safe. I thank God for that. And I promised myself that I will work hard for my studies, especially my Maths, so that I will not break anymore hearts. I want to scream I love you to all my family members, hug them, kiss them, I want them to say jiayou to me and study hard. I am having tears in my eyes now. I don't know how the shit and why the hell I am in this type of family, neither her nor there, but I want to thank God that they're safe. I feel so damn guilty for using vulgarities, like what they've discussed in today's sharing after the service.

I will study hard from now on. I really do. Tommorrow will definitely be an ugly day for sure, but with the mindset that "God is the Provider", I don't think I should worry so much. Yeah I'm pretty scared. But I'll be more scared if my mom or anyone else in the family got into a carcrash or something bad happened to them, I'm quite happy for now.

Yeap, I will continue on my stupid GP essays and I shall at least do some Maths today. For my family and for myself. I want As. I want my top in class back. I want God in my life. I want to lead a normal, contented life. With my family.

And this shall be the first time I valued my family so much. Thank you God, You always make things happen for a good reason, and I realised one today (;

Inspiré de la Parole de plus difficile.

2010-07-10T19:23:00.002+08:00

A quick update. Chem MCQ is like 9/20. I left the fucking section b blank and I circled a wrong answer, like the 'incorrect" instead of "correct", so, yeah. Angry about it.
I don't dare to think about Paper 2. Ms Ong said there's only three passes, including sub-passes. Oh gosh.
Economics, lectures was, erm. @.@
Okay you get the idea. Oh well who is "you" anyway. The going-thru-answers-but-not-getting-back-paper was GRAH!
Geography, I don't dare to think about it. Just doing Tutorial 9 made me wanna kill myself.
GP, I only want to get that paper back. But the teacher said that Paper 2 was badly done, What the shit.

Then, make-up PE on Wed and Thurs was like AWESOME.
On Wed, four rounds on the track. Thurs, was like shit, like
1roundtrack
20situps
8timesacrossbbcourt
10pushups
8timesacrosscourt
10lunges
8timesacrosscourt
20stepups
8timesacrosscourt
10dipins
8timesacrosscourt
1roundtrack.
CONSECUTIVELY. And right after assembly, circuit training for PE.
Fantastic yeah.

Then for Youth Day, was like arguments btwn mum and sis, but later on okay liao.

Wednesday was a long depressing talk btwn Mr Poon and us. We need more people in Choir, or else we will turn it into a non-active CCA (not going SYF) which Catherine and I don't really mind. And only the two of us never raise our hands. Hahas some of the people who raise their hands in wanting SYF actually thought the same way too. Sigh. The other reason why I dint was maybe I am lazy and helpless to find people. Something like Glee would be nice.

Then we wanted to hook in Loshene, but she's leaving school, sigh.

I think those are the main highlights of the week. Church choir was okay.
I guess I need to work hard for my math retest, first and ever. And homework plus revision.
I can't afford to disappoint my Dad anymore, it hurts when I took the signed reply slip for the PTC from him. I let my mum sign my math test paper. I want to cry. But it's me to blame, afterall.

Oh by the way, Two Is Better Than One would be a very appropriate and romantic proposal song (:

Maybe I'm down low, maybe I'm up high.

2010-07-05T11:40:00.003+08:00

Yoga林宥嘉-感同身受MV
Love it :D

黃靖倫 - 我的媽MV
Naise.

Alrighties. I think I'll come back in the evening to update about this week.
Need to prepare for Maths retest too. Thank God I have a modular system for Maths in sch.
Hahas got 16/50. Right coming back later to mull over and rant about it,
IT'S PIANO TIME!